Page 66 of Condemned Soul

“It has to work, because Prez ain’t gonna back down, and Jessie needs to step up.”

* * *

“You're quiet tonight.” Addison snuggles up next to me on the couch once she’s finished tucking in Charlie, usually, it’s something I like to do, but I’ve been too deep in thought tonight. I’m worried about Prez like everyone else is. I’m worried about how this club will function without him, but most of all I’m grateful for what he’s sacrificing. If Prez wasn’t doing what he is, there’s a good chance I’d miss my baby being born. I’d miss all the memories I’ve already pictured in my head for the four of us, and for that, I’ll forever be in Jimmer Carson’s debt.

“I’m tryin’ to process everythin’,” I admit, the last thing I want is for Addison to be worrying about me, but at the same time, I can’t hide shit from her.

“It feels selfish us all getting on with our lives while he’s locked away.” She proves she understands exactly how I feel and I drag her closer to me and rest my hand on her stomach. I love that she’s starting to show now, it’s a reminder to me that all this is real.

“It’s what he wants,” I remind her, and myself, though it doesn’t make the sting of guilt any less potent. “I just wish there was more I could do.”

“I think you're doing exactly what he’d want you to do.” Addison stretches up so she can press a kiss against my jaw.

“You not gonna eat that?” Maddy asks as I twist the spaghetti round and round my fork with no intention of putting it in my mouth. How can I be out here eating, while he’s in there dragging himself deeper into danger?

“I ain’t hungry.”

“You said that at breakfast,” she reminds me, and I can tell from the nervous laugh she makes that she wants to get something off her chest.

“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know what to do,” I admit, dropping my fork and wishing I could tear the brain outta my skull. It’s swirling round and round, going over the same old crap and still not pulling out any answers.

“I know what you could do.” She gets up from the table and walks toward her desk, when she returns she places a piece of paper on the table and slides it across to me.

“What’s that?” I look at the name and address that’s written in her neat handwriting.

“That’s the name of a man who lives about thirty miles from here. Joanne Walker was blackmailing him. I did some research and he left a town ten years ago after there were allegations about him and some local kids.”

“You saying this man is guilty?” I feel a spark of something flicker inside me.

“He had a lawyer who was also on Walker’s blackmail list get him off all

charges, he also paid the money Joanne asked for. He was one of the agency’s clients.” She nods her head and confirms, knowing that she’s sentencing a man to his death.

I reach across the table and take her hand.

“I appreciate this,” I tell her, knowing that she can sense what it is that I need.

“I’ll have Grimm on standby,” she tells me as I kiss her cheek and head out the door, ready to unleash all the pent-up fury that’s been locked up inside me.

***

“Please don’t!” The priest looks up at me with fear in his eyes as I swing the ax in my hand and stare at him.

“What makes you wake up and decide you’re gonna be a pedophile?” I ask him, I could have sliced the head right off him by now but I decide I want him to suffer.

He says nothing, just shakes the head that's still on his shoulders as sweat pores off his brow.

“Answer me,” I warn, pulling back my elbow and slicing the blade into his thigh. I go deep enough to hit the bone and he screams out in agony as his blood splatters across my face.

“Please, just get it over with,” he begs, and I narrow my eyes at the old bastard.

“Is that what they asked you to do? You sick bastard!” I wiggle the blade outta his flesh and strike again. This time into his shoulder and when I think about all the kids that we got back at the club, I lose my fuckin’ mind. I don’t care about his answer.

I hack at his body with the ax over and over again, until I taste his blood on my lips and have to wipe it from my eyes. I don’t just make him dead, I make him unrecognizable. Just a pile of torn-up flesh that doesn’t resemble anything human. Once all the strength is drained from my body I throw the ax at his hacked-up body and take a step back. I look at the mess I made of my basement as I step away from him and make another tally scrape in my wall. Sitting on the chair in the corner, I feel his blood setting on my skin as I catch my breath and try to find my calm. I have to go to Maddy tonight, and I have to go back to her a better man than this.

I wait until I’m sure she’ll be asleep before I get back on my bike and ride home. She’s seen me at my worst, she knows what I’m capable of, but she doesn’t need to see me like this. Covered in a nonce’s blood and still fuckin’ broken on the inside. Once I’m inside I ball up my clothes and throw ‘em in a trash bag, there’s no way the blood stains are coming outta those, and as I head for the shower the light flicks on and I see her standing inside the bedroom door.

“You were gone ages.” She steps toward me reaching out to touch me like the blood ain’t there, but I catch her wrist before she can make the connection.

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