Page 40 of Raze

“I know it’ll make me jealous,” he admits with a very serious look on his face. “And whoever that poor guy was would more than likely end up getting hurt for it.” He smacks a kiss on my lips before dragging himself out of bed and pulling on his jeans.

“Come on, tell me. I wanna know.” I keep hounding him, desperate to know if this man has ever dropped his guard for someone. I’ve got the impression over the past few weeks that it’s slowly lowering for me, and I like how that feels.

“I’ve never been in love,” I admit, sitting myself up against the headboard and twiddling the hem of the bed sheet between my fingers. It seems so sad and juvenile to admit that but it’s true. All that went on with Billy really fucked with my head, I never imagined I’d ever let a man touch me let alone fall in love with one.

“Good, love is a very dangerous thing,” Raze points out.

“And do you think you’ll ever fall in love with me?” The question just falls out of my mouth and when Raze stares at me and frowns I instantly regret asking.

“You don’t have to answer that, it was—” He slowly steps back toward me and climbs over my body, both his palms pressing into the headboard either side of my head and caging me in.

“I’m already fallin’,” he admits, in a soft but low tone that almost sounds vulnerable. I have to wet my lips because suddenly they’ve gone very dry. Everything I’ve been feeling for Raze since I came here has been too scary to admit. To him, and to myself, and yet here he is being open and telling me exactly what I need to hear. My problem is that I’m not ready to be open with him. I still have secrets. Ones that would make him view me differently, and I’m not ready for this safe, beautiful world that I’ve built around myself to come crashing down.

“I have to go.” He kisses me again and when he goes to get up I grab his arm and drag him back.

“But it’s a Sunday.” I pout.

“Presidents don’t get to stop being presidents because it’s a weekend.” He laughs, and I know it’s because the handsome asshole gets off on me bein’ needy.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” I fold my arms over my chest and huff.

“You can stop being a brat for starters.” He raises his eyebrows at me and when I snarl at him, he shakes his head and chuckles. “Why don’t you hang out at the club with some of the girls?” His answer stuns me, ever since I’ve been here Raze has encouraged me to avoid the women who reside in the motel.

“Emmmm, because they all hate me,” I point out the obvious.

“They don’t hate you.” He shakes his head. “Polly likes you, and Sonny too. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way he looks at you.” He waggles his finger at me.

“Ouch, you really are jealous.” I get up on my feet and walk across the mattress to be closer to him and when I wrap my arms around his neck he lifts up my thighs and guides them around his hips.

“I don’t need to be jealous, every single person back at that club knows you're mine now. No one's gonna step outta line.”

“And what if they did?” I ask, wondering what depths Raze would go to.

“Just ask G—” He cuts himself off. “Never mind. I’m only gonna be there a few hours, we’ll do somethin’ nice when I get back,” he promises, before kissing my forehead and placing me back down. I can’t help wondering if that something will involve us both being naked, because I swear this man has turned me into a sex fiend.

“Raze.” I manage to get his attention before he puts on his cut and heads out the door. “Have you ever had your heart broken?”

Part of me is wishing that he has, if he knows what it feels like maybe he might be gentle with mine.

“No.” He frowns back at me before snatching up his keys and walking out the door.

“You're paying far too much attention to that girl,” Stacey tells me when we leave the clubhouse and head for my motel room.

“You mean my sister?” I shake my head and follow her through the door.

“Potential sister, she hasn’t had a DNA test done yet. You haven’t even told your dad that she exists.” Stacey throws her arms in the air in frustration.

“Dad ain’t in a good place, and this would only set him back.”

“What happened with that boy wasn’t your dad’s fault. He needs to get over it.” She rolls her eyes and strips outta the dress she’s wearing so she can throw on one of my shirts.

“Men like us don’t just get over what we have to do.” I stare at the floor feeling my anger start to build.

“Then explain to me why you continue to do it, baby.” She tilts her head sideways and pouts at me.

“And don’t give me that ‘I was born for it’ nonsense. I want to know the truth.” She stands between my legs and plays with my hair.

“This can’t be it for us, Raze. I need more. I want to get married, get a dog, maybe have some kids. I wan–”

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