Page 43 of Raze

“Your father made the fuckin’ rule book for this shit, and yeah, a lotta men have died but none who didn’t deserve it.

That kid who killed his family would’ve been taught that too, just the same as you were, same as Vex taught Brax fuckin’ Marshall and that kid from Colorado who Jimmer treats like a son. He knew right from wrong and he chose wrong. Just because he learned the skill to do it from your father don’t mean that it was your father’s fault.”

“Ya done?” I wait until his little speech is over before I manage a smile for him. I appreciate what he’s saying and maybe there's some truth in it, but it don’t change the fact that Stacey deserves better than what I can offer her.

It’s late when I get back to the club and even later when I finish talking with Cliff. I head up to the motel room I share with Stacey and find her fast asleep.

I like the idea of a future with a dog that chases a ball, and kids that I teach to swim in the ocean. None of that would ever be possible here, not the way Cliff runs things.

“You okay, baby?” She stirs after I come outta the shower, and as I slide under the covers beside her and tuck her in my arms I whisper the words I know she wants to hear.

“Let’s do it.”

“What?” She pulls back and spins her head.

“Let’s get the condo. I’m leavin’ on a job tomorrow mornin’. It’s gonna pay well enough for that deposit.”

“Oh my God, Raze.” She kisses me firmly and snuggles herself into my chest, squeezing her arms tight around my body, and as I drift off to sleep I allow myself to think about the man I might become.

I’m mad at myself. I’m mad at myself for lying to Peyton, and I’m mad at myself for letting that bitch into my head at a time when I’m feeling so happy. Then, when I see Wrath heading toward me, I’m suddenly angry at him too. He promised me before I left on that run to Mexico that he’d watch out for Eden and I believed him.

“You okay, Prez?” he asks.

“Got shit on my mind,” I growl back harshly.

“Don’t say the honeymoon period’s over already.” He laughs, making me want to smash him in his pretty-boy fuckin’ face.

“This ain’t got anythin’ to do with her,” I tell him, Peyton has been the only thing up to now that's made coming back here worth it, and that don’t look as if it’s changing anytime soon. The club ain’t pulling together the way I hoped they would and I have to admit that’s mainly my fault. I still don’t know who I can trust.

“Look, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I was thinkin’ of gettin’ Jessie’s old lady to try and get some leads on findin’ Eden,” he tells me.

“Really, this shit again?” I shake my head and storm on past him. This is the last thing I fuckin’ need in the mood I’m in.

“Yeah, Raze, this fuckin’ shit.” He chases after me.

“You call me back here, you ask me to be your second and then you treat me like I’m one of the brothers you don’t know if ya can trust. We have a real chance of findin’ her. A chance to bring her back here where she belongs.”

“Here?” I laugh at him. “Eden doesn’t belong here, Aaron, she never did and she should never have come here. If she hadn’t, you would never have…” I stop myself before this goes too far.

“Say it,” he dares me, getting up in my face and reminding me that he’s a man now, not an eighteen-year-old boy.

“I can’t fuckin’ say it, Wrath,” I hiss through my teeth.

“Wherever my sister is, I know it’s better for her than here. Now, why don’t ya put all your efforts into findin’ your own sister.” I go to walk away but he pulls me back raising his fist back like he’s gonna throw it at me and when Ruckus and Sasquatch come running toward us, it ain’t me they have to pull back.

“We got a club meetin’ at 1 pm, make sure everyone’s in attendance. VP.” I dust off the Long Beach badge he has sewn on his cut and make my way up the stairs into the clubhouse.

There’s tension in the barroom when all the men step out from their meeting, most of them head for the bar, but Griller heads out the door, slamming it behind him.

“What’s gotten into him?” Sonny asks Vike, who takes a seat beside him and looks at the hand I’ve just dealt him.

He shakes his head at me discreetly and screws up his nose to let me know Sonny’s got nothing, so I raise him a few more matchsticks as I watch Raze head for his office looking frustrated.

“What’s up with him?” I cave in and ask.

“Which one?” He looks back at me cleverly.

“Both of them.” I lay down my cards for Sonny to see and he curses as he throws his in the middle.

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