Page 45 of Raze

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I smile at him before making my way to the door, my hands are shaking as I take the handle, because I still don’t know if the Reaper that they’re burying next week is the man I killed or my brother.

“You wanna play hold ‘em? Rocco’s gonna play too,” Sonny shouts across at me as I make my way to the clubhouse door. I know I made Kane a promise but I have to know he’s okay.

“Just give me five,” I call back at them, trying to smile as I race out the clubhouse and toward my car.

The doors are still unlocked and my hands fumble as I open up the glove compartment and take out the phone.

“Come on, come on, please,” I beg for it not to be dead. When I press the on button and the logo comes on the screen, I sigh in relief. I scroll past Dad’s number to Kane’s and hit call, looking in my rearview mirror in case anyone has followed me out here, while I wait for him to answer.

“Peyton.” He sounds pleased to hear from me, and I suddenly realize how long it’s been since I heard his voice. “Ya okay, ya hurt?”

“I’m fine.” I clutch the phone in my hand and sigh with relief.

“I told you to only use this phone–”

“I know, but I had to hear your voice,” I interrupt him.

“Where are ya?” he asks and I look at the big, yellow motel that has the club logo graffitied on the side of it, remembering the promise I made to our dad. No one can know I’m here, not even Kane. It’s safer for both of us that way.

He sees the Souls like the Reapers do. He thinks they are bad men and he would only try to come and get me.

“I’m safe. I’m far away. I just… I needed to know you were okay.” I’m so happy that he is, I could cry.

“I’m fine, how about you? You sure you're safe?” He sounds worried.

“I couldn’t be safer.” I rest my head back against the seat and think about how it feels to sleep in Raze’s arms. He makes me feel untouchable.

“That’s good, but you can’t come back here.”

“They found him, didn’t they?” I slam my hand over my mouth and try to hold back my tears.

“Who, Malice? No, he’s still missin’,” he tells me, I guess in case anyone else overhears him.

“I miss you.” I close my eyes and picture his face. It was always him I went to for comfort. He had no idea what Billy was doing to me for so long and I had no idea Billy did it to him too. We’ve been through far too much to be kept apart like this and it suddenly dawns on me that a day might come where I have to make a choice between Raze and my brother.

“I’m glad you're okay,” I tell him feeling the tears start to prick at my eyes

“Peyton, I have to go, I miss you too.” He sounds almost as sad as I am, but I don’t focus on that, I focus on the fact that he’s alive.

“I love you,” I tell him before he can hang up.

“I love you too.” He cuts the call and after turning off the phone to preserve its battery, I slide it back into the glove compartment.

I almost leap out of my skin when a hand slams over the roof of my car.

“Tryin’ to get away from me already?” Raze is smiling when I look up at him through the window.

“No, I was just looking for something I misplaced.” I get out the car and when he pins his hands either side of me and cages me between them I hate the fact I just had to lie to him.

“You look much happier than you did back in your office.” I smile.

“That’s because I had one of my great ideas.” He looks over toward his bike with a huge grin on his face.

“You want me to get on that?” I feel excitement and terror twist in my stomach.

“I promised you we’d do somethin’ fun today and that’s my idea of fun.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never–”

---