Page 38 of Finding Limits

“You wanna eat out?” He looks stunned.

“Not exactly, Savannah was telling me that you have a fast food place about an hour from here. She said you can drive around to a window and they pass your food right through to you. Is that true?” I laugh, still unsure if she was teasing me and if I’m making a fool of myself.

“It’s true.” Mitch smiles for the first time since he’s been home.

“Well, she says I haven’t lived until I’ve tried one of their cheeseburgers, and I’m figuring that could be the next step I take. Eating out without having to be inside the restaurant.” I look up at him hopefully.

“Ya sure you’re ready?” He slides his finger over my cheek to tuck some loose hair behind my ear. I nod back at him enthusiastically and he stands up, placing my feet back on the ground.

“Come on then, let's go get ya that burger that’ll change your life.” His concern morphs into a smile as he takes my hand and leads me out the door.

I’m surprised by my own excitement as Mitch drives through the drive-thru and orders our food. I sit safe and secure in the passenger seat beside him, watching all the hustle and bustle going on around us. Families are piling into the restaurant together, there's a line of cars behind us ready to give their orders, and while Mitch waits for our food to be ready, he takes my hand in his and squeezes it tight.

“You’re doin’ real good,” he assures me, looking proud. I love the sense of achievement it gives me, it makes pushing myself to do these things worth it.

I watch a little girl come out of the restaurant door holding her daddy's hand. She giggles when he scoops her up and lifts her up onto his shoulders, and it makes me smile for so many different reasons. I’ll bet she has a whole bunch of fairytale books in her room, that her mother reads to her at night before she kisses her and tucks her under the covers. I’ll bet the man who carries her on his shoulders feels like the luckiest man in the world, just like Mitch would have been with his own son if he’d had the chance to know him at that age. I’ll also guarantee that the woman who follows them behind carrying a balloon cries sometimes for no other reason than the love she feels in her heart. I remember that feeling of overwhelming love and I never even got to meet my baby.

“Evy, you okay?” Mitch looks worried when I turn back to face him, and when I feel the tear slip over my cheek I quickly wipe it away with the heel of my palm.

“I’m fine.” I put on a smile for him

“Darlin’, you’re cryin’, if this is too much?—”

“Happy tears,” I interrupt him, shaking my head and watching as the family get inside the car on the other side of the parking lot. Seeing scenes like I just did help me know for sure that all the things we were told by the elders were untrue. There is good in the world outside. People smile, people are happy, and they take care of each other.

“Well, you're about to get a lot happier.” He reaches out the car window when the lady on the other side passes him our order, and after dumping it on the console between us he pulls away.

“I got the perfect spot to take ya to enjoy this,” he tells me.

We drive for about fifteen minutes until the buildings disappear and the roads become narrow again. Mitch takes a left down a long, narrow track and when we get to the bottom of it there’s a huge cliff edge in front of us. I hold my breath as he spins the truck and parks with the tailgate facing out over the view.

“Come on.” He reaches onto the back seat and grabs a rolled-up sleeping bag, then picking up our food he gets out the truck. I follow after him and look out at the view in front of us, it’s all landscape that never seems to end. Mountains behind mountains that fade into the distance and when he pulls the tailgate down and taps the bed, I realize that he wants me to sit on it.

“Dinner and a view.” He smiles as he lays out the sleeping bag, and when I step closer to him I let him lift me up and place me on the flatbed. He jumps up beside me and sets out our food for us, then laughs at the noises I make when I discover that Savannah tells no lies. This food is incredible. Maybe I should be ashamed of the fact I finish mine way before Mitch does, but I have no regrets. I’ve been deprived of these kinds of things for far too long. Why shouldn’t I embrace them?

“We don’t have to hurry back, do we?” I look back out at that view and notice that the sun is slowly starting to disappear behind the mountains. The orange and purple in the sky combine and make the vision in front of me look like something from a picture in a book.

“We got all the time in the world.” Mitch wipes his mouth with a napkin and shoves our rubbish out of the way, before his arm curls around my shoulder and he tucks me into his body.

“I told everyone at the ranch today that you were my girl.” He eventually breaks the silence, almost sounding guilty. I smile to myself because I really like the way it sounds. “I didn’t feel bad for it,” he confesses, causing me to look up at him and wonder what he means. “I’m done with all that, now.” He stares down at me with eyes focused and sincere. “Look at ya, you came out tonight, you're sittin’ on tailgate watchin’ the sun go down, and you're smilin’. All I’ve wanted since I first saw ya, is for ya to be happy. For ya to see the beauty in this world and not to fear it, and if this is what makes you happy and is gonna keep that smile on your face, I’ll leave all my insecurities behind me too. I’ll do everything I can to give you the life you deserve.” He takes my face in his hand and draws me closer and when our lips touch and that thrill starts to stir in my stomach, I decide to embrace the moment. I slide my leg over his and straddle his hips, deepening our kiss and making it a lot more intense. So intense that I feel him harden beneath me. It puts a rush in my blood that makes me more determined to explore my boundaries.

There's no one around us, the air is still warm and when I think about all the hurdles I still have left to jump, I decide to leap over the biggest one of them all. Pulling myself slightly away from him, I sit back on his lap then watch him look at me in confusion as I slowly lift my top up over my head and reveal all the marks Abraham put on my body.

His eyes soften as he studies them and I have to look away because I don’t want to see him grimace at me. Up to now, every step we’ve taken has been so beautiful and enlightening. I guess we have to face up to some of the ugly if I want to keep moving forward.

“Hey.” Mitch pinches my chin between his thumb and finger, forcing me to look back at him. “Don’t look away from me like you’re ashamed of this.” His hand slides down my neck and arches around my throat, while the hand he had resting on my hips softly slides over my mutilated skin, tracing the burn marks and the scars Abraham put there. He pulls me back onto his lips, then wraps his arm around my body and brings me in tighter, letting his hands roam across my back covering more wounds that will never heal. He kisses my neck, grazing me with his teeth, while his hands continue to explore, and as his mouth lowers further down my body he gently pushes me back so he can get better access to me. Touching his mouth delicately over all my hideous marks as if he can make them vanish.

“Mitch. You don’t have to…” I push against his shoulder. “I just wanted you to see what I am.” I smile at him sadly and when he furrows his brow, I wonder what he’s thinking.

“These scars ain’t what you are, Evy, they're just a part of your story.”

“I know they’re ugly,” I whisper, still trying not to cry.

“Not to me they ain’t.” His fingertip traces over the angry red line that came from Abraham's fishing hook. “There ain’t an ugly thing about you.” He lifts my hips up so he can kiss me there too, and the rush it gives me makes me even more determined to break down my barriers.

“I want you.” I bite my lip nervously, not quite knowing what I’ll do if he rejects me.

“I told ya, darlin’, you got me.” He chuckles to himself.

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