Page 19 of Hard To Stay

My anxiety started to climb to an unhealthy level. What the hell did I just do? He wanted what was mine although technically Lexi wasn’t mine to take. This was just a big game of cat and mouse and he just swiped my cheese.

So much was happening at once and I needed a minute to process everything. I lifted my head and took in my surroundings. I knew I had to get things under control. So, without saying another word, I headed towards the exit to go get some fresh air.

Once outside, I paced the sidewalk sorting out the thoughts running through my head. Questions started to hit me one by one. Was Lexi going to be afraid of me now? Did that just change how she felt about me? Could we still be friends after this? But the one question that was fighting its way through edge of my brain was where the hell did Garrison play into all this?

My pulse had spiked when she jumped to his defense. Was she seriously interested in him? The stupid asshole wasn’t ugly either, and he knew that. He was using his looks to sink his teeth into her. The thought of the two of them together made my blood boil.

I threw my head back against the brick wall, blowing out a painful breath. I had acted like a lunatic, stormed off and just left her there.

It wasn’t lost on me that she was probably connecting the dots, thinking this was all about Emily. Which was only partially true. What bothered me the most was that I’d somehow hurt her. It was my job to protect her, and I’d failed. I’d let my personal feelings towards Garrison drive my actions and in the end, my behavior was more confusing and hurtful than his was.

I didn’t make it more than 15 feet when the nagging sense to make things right sent me racing towards the door. There was nothing about the way I was feeling that made sense to me. But at the same time, everything about her felt right.

I stalked back towards the door almost running head first into Lucas as he rounded the corner. The palm of his hand pressed deeply into my chest, halting my march inside.

“I need to make this right.” I explained, trying to push past him. He placed all 240 pounds of muscle in front of me and gave my shoulders a shove. I watched as two guys who were making their way inside stopped on the sidewalk trying to decide if Lucas and I were about to trade a few blows. They paused for about 10 seconds and decided that the show was pretty much over and continued on with their journey.

“You better get your shit together, Morgan, before you fuck things up even more than they already are. How could you let that asshole rile you up like that?” The frustration was clear in his voice and I don’t think I’d ever seen him so annoyed with me.

“He fucking provoked me on purpose. What was I supposed to do, just stand there like an idiot?” I cleared his arms off my shoulders and gave him a shove backwards. We both knew if push came to shove, Lucas could have kicked my ass from here to Chinatown. At that particular moment I just didn’t give a fuck. I just wanted to get back to Lexi, and he was standing in my way.

“Take a breath, Morgan. She’s upset and confused. Can you blame her? The two of you are having the biggest swinging dick contest in there and she gets caught in the middle of it. What is she supposed to think?” He stated, relaxing his grip on my shirt.

“All the more reason for you to get the hell out of my way so I can go in there and fix this.” I said, trying to move around the crossed muscled arms blocking my path.

He shook his head, disapprovingly. “I’m going to shoot it to you straight, brother. I’ve known you a long time. I know the shit you went through with Emily. I get it. I really do. But, dude, Lexi.” He bowed his head and made a low whistle. “A woman like that isn’t going to be available forever. If she means anything to you, then you need to step up your game. You can’t bullshit me and feed me that ‘she’s just a friend’ crap. I see the way you look at the woman and you are in over your head. And now your buddy, Garrison, knows it, too.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “He’s a smooth one, you know. He could charm the skin off a snake. He’ll go after her just to piss you off. You better stake your claim before it’s too late.”

The need to yell, to punch something was building with each breath I took. I felt waves of emotion wash over me, each one stronger and more dangerous than the one before it. I could let this sea of rage drag me under, or I could take a deep breath and start swimming towards the shore. There was only one other woman who had made me feel this way, and with her the storm took me under for a very long time. I wasn’t sure I could survive it twice.

“I’m not sure I’m ready.” I confessed, staring at the ground, unable to meet his eyes.

“Well, you better strap on your big boy pants, buddy, because it’s sink or swim time! I’m not the smartest man on the planet, but I can tell you that woman in there will not be single for long. So you better figure your shit out pretty damn quick.”

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