Page 28 of Hard To Stay

Brad shook his head, the muscle along his jaw tensed. It was clear he was uncomfortable with the idea. “I’m good with the couch.”

I narrowed my eyes and dramatically parked my hand on my hip, no longer caring how awkward this conversation was. “Brad, this is your friend’s house. You are not sleeping on the couch.”

He turned his head and studied the bed. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

Not really, I wanted to say but instead I told him, “I’m positive.”

He gave me an uneasy smile, turned around and started to unpack his bag. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the butterflies flitting in my stomach every time his taut muscles rippled beneath the fabric of his shirt. Everything on the outside appeared hard and solid, almost unbreakable. But I knew that underneath the muscular exterior, was a man who had a soft heart, a broken soul and a fragile spirit. Even though he tried to hide it, I could still see right through him.

I peeled my eyes off of him and walked away. I needed a distraction and tried to keep myself busy with getting ready.

After we settled into the room, the guys found a shady spot on the front porch and grabbed a few beers. Faith and I left to run down to the local shopping area in search of a bathing suit for me.

We wandered down the tree-lined sidewalk into a cute and trendy boutique and quickly found the swimwear section. There was a very modest simple white bikini that hugged my butt perfectly, showing off a good amount of cleavage. The material was smooth and silky and would look great once my skin got tanned.

Faith’s head popped in through the curtain, as I turned my body in front of the mirror. “Wow, you look hot. Brad’s going to shit himself when he sees you.”

I tore my eyes away from my reflection and leveled my gaze on her. “Faith, we’re just friends.”

She shook her head while waving a hand in front of her face. “So you both keep reminding me.” She rolled her eyes, like that was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. “Who are you both trying to convince? Me or yourselves?”

I groaned at her comment. I liked Faith, I really did, but I was starting to get annoyed with how she kept bringing this up. Seeing that I had just met her, I decided it was in my best interest to not offend her. So I chose my words carefully. “We both have a lot of baggage we’re trying to work through. He’s been a great friend who’s only trying to help me out. Neither one of us is ready for anything more than friendship.” I explained, picking my water bottle up off the bench and taking a long sip.

“I see,” she said grinning. “What about fucking?”

I choked on the last sip of my water.

“I mean, that can be pretty casual, right? Sawyer and I started out as friends with benefits and look at us now almost five years later.”

After taking a huge swallow, I screwed the cap back on my water bottle and set it down. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I waved her off dismissively.

When I stepped out of the changing room to go pay for my purchases, I saw Faith winding her way through the racks of sundresses. While scanning the selection, she held up a pale blue, halter-style sundress. “This would look good with your eyes.” She advised holding it out between her fingers for my consideration.

The dress was gorgeous, and it was definitely something I would wear, but I just wanted to get the beach and soak up some sun while it was still daylight.

She lifted a perfectly arched brow. “Do you have something to wear for dinner tonight?”

Her comment caused me to pause. “I was planning on something casual. Is that going to be a problem?” When Brad told me to pack light, I didn’t put much thought into it.

“We have reservations at one the best seafood places in town. Besides, if you want Brad to notice you, this dress will definitely get his attention.” She beamed, holding out the fabric for me to run my fingers through.

“What makes you think I want him to notice me?” I asked, admiring the dress. Seriously, this girl was relentless.

Her lips pulled up into a grin, “I see the way he looks at you and the way your eyes light up as soon as I mention his name.” I blushed as she continued, “Brad’s been through hell. It’s so nice to see him happy.”

I shook my head, “You have the wrong idea about us. Besides, I know he’s still in love with Emily.” I said quietly, hoping to hide the hurt behind my voice. Just saying her name out loud felt like a kick to my heart. I was normally not the jealous type, but it was the only feeling I felt when I thought of the two of them together. It sat there just beneath the surface reminding me that she had him in a way I probably never would.

She scowled at me. “Lexi, I was there through their whole relationship. I watched the two of them together. Did they love each other? Yes. Did they belong together? No. Looking back now you know what I find ironic?” She quizzed, perhaps thinking this was the first time she had ever thought of it. “She was his girlfriend, and they acted like they were best friends. They were always polite, always considerate, they never argued. Everything was too perfect. You know what I mean? You seem to bring out this energy in him that I’ve never seen before. It’s like he’s so attuned to you that he can’t stay away. He’s just drawn to you. I feel the energy emanate from his body the second you’re near him. I never sensed any of that with Emily. They were so plain and predictable. It’s different with you.”

I stared at her in shock. What was I supposed to make of all that? Her comments did nothing but further stir up the battle going on between my brain and my heart. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I had myself convinced that we were better off as friends. Then the next, I was picturing something more. Something the exact opposite of what my head was telling me.

I grabbed the dress from Faith; it really was a beautiful dress. Her grin widened when I placed it on the counter with the rest of my items for the sales lady to ring up. “I like the dress. Everything I packed is too casual.” I told her, trying to rationalize my impulsive purchase. I hadn’t treated myself in a while. Buying the dress had nothing to do with wanting Brad to notice me, right? Nope, not that reason at all.

Her eyes sparkled with a silent understanding. “You’re welcome.”

-

Once Faith and I arrived back at the house, I quickly changed into my new bikini and looked in the mirror, silently reminding myself that I really needed to start hitting the gym again. I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail as I stepped out of the bathroom to get the cover-up from my shopping bag. My feet came to a complete stop when I spotted Brad adjusting the drawstring on his board shorts. God sure did bless this man. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on his body. Everything was lean, tight and perfect. He must have sensed me gawking at him because he lifted his head with a smile. That smile quickly dropped when he caught sight of what I was wearing.

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