Page 36 of Hard To Stay

Chapter Thirteen

Lexi

“Brad, what are you doing here?”

He pushed his way into the room and planted his hands firmly on my hips with the door slamming behind him. The sound made me jump. He caged me in up against the wall with a force that had me questioning who this man was. Gone was the man who I called my friend. In his place was a man determined. He looked like a man who knew what he wanted. The tension in the air made everything seem more dramatic.

His hands cupped my face in a firm grip; my skin heated from the timbre of his voice. “I’m ready now, Lexi.”

“Ready for what?” I managed to get out between breaths. I shifted to the side wondering if he knew how turned on I was. My legs felt weak, like they would buckle underneath me at any moment.

“When you left me standing outside at the curb yesterday, it was like déjà vu all over again. I let Emily walk away so she could have space. I don’t want to give you the same space to move on. I just want you. I know I can’t go back and take away all the things I said, but I can start right now by telling you that I’m ready now. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care about all the reasons I used to stay away. The only reason I need, the only one that feels right is you.”

His mouth covered mine before I had a chance to respond. The desperation in his kiss felt more like a promise. It was a promise of something more. Before we took this any further though I wanted to make sure he understood what was on the line.

I pulled back from the kiss and placed my hands on his chest. I could feel his heart pounding under his dress shirt. “Please don’t hurt me again Brad. Don’t push me away. This is your last chance… choose me or let me go.” My soft, pleading voice was breaking. I didn’t want to keep questioning his every word, but after yesterday, I refused to let him fill me with false hope just because he was feeling jealous. Not that I thought that was his only intention, but I was sure it was the driving force that had led him to my doorstep tonight.

“Lexi… I don’t want to look back five years from now and regret not taking a chance on us. I’m sick of playing it safe. I’m willing to risk it all because you’re worth it. I’m asking you…” He shook his head. “No. I’m begging you, to look past all the shit I said before and trust me enough to not hurt you again. I’m not saying that there won’t be times when I fuck up, but I would never hurt you. Not on purpose.” His voice was unwavering, and I felt my insides turn to liquid.

“But you do, every time you pull away from me.” I said, trying to hold onto whatever ounce of strength, I had left. It would be so easy to give in, to just fall into his arms, but I needed to know that he would be there to catch me.

“I’m done fighting my feelings for you. Fuck, Lexi!” He groaned then looked away before leveling his gaze back on mine. “I can’t stay away from you. I can’t lose you. This thing between us is real. I’m done pulling away from you. I may have been too blind to see it before, but make no mistake. I see you now!”

His words tugged at parts of my heart that I didn’t even know I had. It felt like everything I had to go through in my life had led me straight to him. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. It all seemed worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might not have ever met him.

“I want to be with you, too.” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper.

He slipped his hand in the back of my hair and pulled my forehead to rest against his. “I want you to understand something. I’m going to make this very clear. I’m done living in the past. When I look at you, you’re all I see and all I need.”

His mouth found mine again. He kissed me slowly, taking his time as if he wanted to savor every taste. Every dip of his tongue stirred emotions in me making everything else fade away. My hands and my heart could not get him close enough.

His mouth moved down along my neck making my heart miss a few beats. “Don’t stop,” I pleaded.

“I don’t plan on it.” He murmured against my neck before sucking gently. “You are so damn addicting.” He whispered against my ear. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Within seconds, our frantic hands started pulling and tugging at each other’s clothing. My moans became desperate as I fumbled with the zipper to his jeans. God, I was so ready and willing.

He eventually broke the kiss and pulled away. “Bed. Now!” He growled with a strength I had never heard before.

My body fell back on the mattress and Brad crawled on top of me like a predator about to attack his prey. He pulled my dress up over my head and slowly drank me in. His skilled fingers lightly trailed along the curves of my breast, causing me to jerk from his touch. I wanted more. I needed more. His hands pushed the cup of my bra over my nipple and he swiped his tongue across it so hard my head fell back and I moaned deeply. I’d never felt more exposed. I was barely hanging on.

His hands moved to my back unclasping my bra, freeing my breasts for his waiting hands. “I’m a breast man, Lexi.” His tone was eager and filled with need. “These are perfect.” He said before popping one nipple back in his mouth again and biting down hard enough that I felt a sting shoot through me. I always knew I was blessed up top, but hearing him confirm it gave me more confidence than it should have.

His mouth gradually moved down to my stomach and kissed along my hips before moving back up to my jaw. It was as if he was memorizing every inch of my body. Desire filled me from the inside out.

His fingers skimmed the length of my abdomen, tugging off my black lace underwear. He stood up and looked at me with heavily lidded eyes. “Did you wear these for him?” He asked with his eyes turning a possessive shade darker.

“NO!” I shook my head. “I didn’t even let him kiss me tonight.”

His expression was still set in stone. “Why?” He demanded.

Watching him watch me had the same effect as if it were his mouth and his hands on me instead of his eyes. Who was this man? And what the hell was he doing to me? This was a side to Brad that I’d never seen before. It was so different and so unexpected I wasn’t sure how to handle him. “Because all I could think about when I was with him was how much he wasn’t you.”

He positioned himself over the top of me. “You fucking own me.” He declared, crashing his mouth to mine. My legs wrapped around his back and I swear I felt my body hum with need.

Brad’s fingers dragged along the length of my stomach before he slipped one inside my tight channel. He placed his thumb along my wetness teasing me where I wanted him most. My hands slid down his shoulders then across his arms. His breathing was rapid as I rocked my hips against him trying to find the pressure and friction I craved.

He withdrew his fingers and peered down at me. “Do we need to use anything?”