Page 45 of Hard To Stay

Lexi started to get up from the table. “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to talk.”

Panic started to shoot through me. I reached for her hand “Lexi, no. You don’t have to go.”

Samantha’s face fell. “Really, Brad you can’t give me five minutes?” She fired back, getting more pissed off by the second.

I ran my hand through my hair tugging on the ends like it was going to pull an answer from my brain. I was getting fucking nothing. “Lexi, please sit down.” I half told her, half asked. I didn’t want to be inconsiderate of Samantha’s feelings, but I was more concerned about Lexi. We’d had enough drama for two lifetimes in the last 30 days and I really wasn’t sure where this conversation was going.

“Brad, it’s okay.” Lexi reassured me, “I need to use the restroom anyway, and it sounds like this woman has something she really needs to say to you.” I was so conflicted on what to do. Her accepting tone confused me, but as I watched her walk away, I felt a small sense of relief.

Samantha slid into the empty seat across from me and rested her hands on the table. She looked like there were a million questions swirling through her brain.

“I didn’t mean to come across as a bitch, but I wasn’t expecting to see you with anyone. When you stopped returning my calls, I assumed it was because you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. So can you imagine my surprise a little over a month later when I run into you on a date and you introduce me to your girlfriend? Didn’t take you very long to get comfortable being serious with another woman, did it?”

I wanted to be angry, but the girl had me dead to my rights. Things were going great, and she gave me all the space I asked for. She played by the rules and I didn’t. She deserved better than me ignoring her calls and dumping her without an explanation. I should have manned up.

“Look Samantha, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry that I didn’t call you back and I’m sorry that you got hurt. That was never my intention. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were right; I wasn’t looking for a relationship when we were together.”

Her eyes sharpened, trying to mask the hurt she felt. “Why is she so special? Help me understand.”

I sat back and weighed my words carefully. “I’m not trying to be a dick here, but my relationship with her is none of your business.” I needed to be blunt. I didn’t want her to leave with more questions than answers. “I wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment, it just happened. You’re an amazing woman and I do care about you. But, you need to understand something; you and I were never meant to be more than a moment in time. I never misled you. I was always honest about what I wanted out of our arrangement. The second I realized that you were in a different place than I was, I knew I needed to end it. I didn’t want to hurt you. I know that’s what I ended up doing anyway, and for that I’m sorry.”

Samantha was about to say something but I cut her off. “Don’t ask me to explain it because I can’t. It just happened.” She looked a little hurt, and I was reminded to soften my words. “Again, I’m sorry that I hurt you. I swear it wasn’t anything you said or did. I hope you can accept my apology.”

She wiped the corner of her eye and it made me feel like shit. “This girl is she…?” She stopped and then tilted her head. “Is she what you were looking for? Does she make you happy?” She asked. Seeming to finally pull herself together.

Blonde hair caught my eye, and I turned my head to see Lexi standing off to the corner. She was giving Samantha and I time to finish our conversation. I ignored the instinctive urge to run over and pull her into my arms. Never in my life had I ever felt such a connection to someone as I did to her. There was no limit, no line I wouldn’t cross for her.

A flood of emotions hit my chest and squeezed my heart so tight that I felt it deep down in my gut. I was in love with her. I scrubbed my hands down my face and tried to ease the panic filling me up from the inside out. The last time I’d felt like this, I had lost everything.

I took a painful swallow and tried not freak out. “Yes Samantha, she does.”

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