Page 59 of Hard To Stay

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lexi

I unlockedthe door to my dark apartment, feeling broken and defeated. I flipped on the light switch and slid my body down along the wall, taking my spirit along with me. The pressure in my chest was unbearable. Never in my life had I ever felt so alone. Trying to fight back the tears was useless. The vision of him practically running to her was seared in my mind forever.

After sobbing uncontrollably for a few minutes, I willed myself to stand. I could feel my heart sinking further into my stomach as I walked over and threw my purse onto the kitchen counter. There was no way to know if walking out without letting him explain had been the right thing to do, but my first and only reaction was to run. The image of the two of them together had caused an ache so deep I wasn’t sure if I could recover.

My phone had buzzed nonstop since I left the club. He must have finally noticed I was gone. As tempted as I was to answer it, I knew the sound of his voice would make me cave in seconds. I couldn’t talk to him yet. I needed to clear my head. It was probably silly that I was this upset; it wasn’t like they ran into each other’s arms and locked lips like long lost lovers. What bothered me the most was his reaction to her. It was like everything else ceased to exist, including me. How was I supposed to bury that kind of hurt and rejection?

Walking into my bedroom, I stared at my empty bed. The bed I hadn’t slept on in forever. It was ironic how much I’d loved this apartment when I’d first moved here. It was the first place that ever felt like home. The apartment that once held so much hope and promise now felt like a prison. I understood the feeling of being trapped well. The walls that Brad had broken through were falling back into place. It was the only way to protect myself from the avalanche of pain.

My exhausted body dropped to the cold mattress as I stared up at the ceiling and debated on what to do. The minutes slowly ticked by before the inevitable knock on my door eventually came. For a split second I debated on whether or not to answer it. I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes and sat up.

Avoiding him would only prolong this conversation. We needed to talk. I walked right by the mirror over my dresser without looking. I didn’t need to glance at my reflection to know that I looked like hell. It might actually serve him right to see the damage he had caused.

With my hand paused on the doorknob, I braced for what was sure to be a major confrontation. When the door swung open, my heart froze. I blinked my eyes hoping this was a bad dream.

“Hello, Alexis. Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Colton’s presence brought a sense of dread that could be felt all the way into my bones. My brain was screaming at me to slam the door in his face and run, but my body was frozen in fear. I closed my eyes wishing I was back in that club instead of staring at my worst nightmare.

“What do you want from me, Colton?”

He cocked his head to the side, his dark eyes hardened as they slid over me. “I think you know.”

I could not deal with this shit right now. I was on an emotional overload as it was. I didn’t have the energy to play his head games. Staring up at him, my mind searched for something to say.

“You shouldn’t be here. Brad is on his way.” My instincts were screaming at me to run, but my muscles were growing weaker by the second.

Colton leaned against the doorjamb like he didn’t have a care in the world. He looked so put together, like he was just stopping by for a visit, like nothing had ever happened.

“Really? He looked a little preoccupied at the club when I left.” His eyes were testing for my reaction.

My worst fears had come true. He had been following me the entire time.

With a shaky voice I held onto the doorknob for support. “Please leave me alone.”

Colton just ignored my plea and breezed right past me, walking into my apartment like he had been there a thousand times. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes into slits. “Close the door, Alexis.”

I knew that voice. It was the one he used when he meant business. It was the voice that had preceded more than one black eye. I responded to his command and wordlessly did as he asked. I knew what would happen if I didn’t.

I stood against the door and crossed my arms acting like the space between us provided some type of protection. My body wanted to run, but my brain knew he would only catch up to me, eventually. The only chance I had was to stand up to him. Show him I wasn’t the timid little creature that he used to control. I would not cower, but I could still beg. Whatever it took to get him away from me, I would do.

“Colton, please leave me alone. I’m trying to move on with my life. I’m happy here. You claim to love me. Don’t you want to see me happy?”

He stepped towards me, closing the space between us. He lifted my chin forcing me to look into his cold, hard eyes. “Happy?” He said, as he gripped my chin tightly. “You don’t look very happy right now. You’ve been crying.”

I blinked back the tears, unable to deny it. “Yes.” I admitted, looking away. My resolve grew weaker by the second.

“You know, I’ve done a lot of research on your new boy toy.” My nerves unraveled as his breath hit my face. “That woman he left you for at the club, that’s his ex, Emily.” He dipped his head slowly and ran his nose along my jaw. I closed my eyes and tried to shut down. “You know he will always love her more than you, don’t you? She was his once in a lifetime. You know how I know?” My subconscious was screaming at him to stop as the tears trickled down my cheek. This is what Colton did best; he liked to break me down until I was too weak to defend myself. “Because you’re mine. He will never love you more than I do. Because he still loves her. It will always be her. It’s probably her face he sees when he’s fucking you.”

“Stop!” I pushed on his shoulders trying to drive him away. My heart was literally breaking from his words. As much as I didn’t want them to be true, there would always be that small flicker of doubt.

He cupped my face as I tried to shake my head. “I will never stop loving you or fighting for you. You are my once in a lifetime. We belong together. You’re just lost and I’m here to help you find your way back. You belong with me, Alexis.”

The second his lips landed on mine I pushed back against his hard chest. “Don’t touch me!” I shouted through my tears.

His hands fell to the side. “I don’t want to hurt you. I only want to love you.” He spat out through clenched teeth.

A fearful laugh escaped between my sobs. “Are you for real?” I shot back, feeling a small flicker of strength return. “All you ever did was hurt me, physically and emotionally.”

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