Page 71 of Hard To Stay

He looked annoyed by my comment. “Why do you insist on fighting me?” He paused, “or should I say us?” He gestured his hand between us.

This guy was proving to be slow on the uptake. “There is no us. There hasn’t been an us for quite a while.”

His nostrils flared. “As long as I’m breathing there will always be an us.” He slanted his head to the side. “Are you still pissed about me fucking your sister?”

I no longer loved him, but it stung every time I thought about the two of them together. It was more about my sister’s betrayal than his infidelity.

“Oh, we were over long before that, but fucking my sister was the icing on the cake.” I deadpanned.

A small sliver of regret flashed through his features. If I wasn’t paying so close attention, I might have missed it.

Colton ran his hands down his face. “Alexis, I know I fucked up. I had a bad moment. It shouldn’t erase everything we’ve been through.” His voice trailed off, and he looked away. He shook his head and returned his gaze to me. “I know I’m not perfect, but you’re not either. I gave you everything. I’ve spent almost an entire decade loving you. I know I’ve done things to hurt you, but I’ve also given you more than I’ve ever given anyone. All I asked in return was loyalty and understanding during my moments of weakness.”

“Weakness, Colton, that’s what you call it? You beat me, terrorized me and forced yourself on me.”

He blanched at my outburst! Good!

“I have apologized to you a million times. Christ, Alexis.” He plowed his hand through his wavy brown hair that curled at the ends. His bruises from last week had already started to heal. He was back to looking like the All American Boy next door.

“I was in a bad place then. My father was up my ass about his campaign for Senate. You kept pulling away from me. I was a drowning man, Alexis and when I needed you, you weren’t there. So yes, I acted out. I did some things that I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. Please forgive me and come home.”

This was what he did: he fucked up, pled for forgiveness and apologized profusely. Miraculously, his problems were always my fault, and he was always the victim. My brain pondered how to handle him. There was a small part of me that felt sorry for him. I knew there was tremendous pressure put on him, but it was the way he dealt with that pressure that got us here in the first place.

Colton wasn’t always the monster he was today. The man that I once knew was charming and larger than life. He always had a strong personality that liked to impress others. But perhaps I was a bit naïve about how much pressure he was under to make a name for himself. I was so blinded by his charms and his good looks that I missed all the warning signs. Flashes of the man I once knew breezed through my mind. I had to believe that man still existed somewhere in his deep, dark soul.

“Colton, I’m sorry that you feel like I somehow failed you, but you failed me, too. Yes, I gave you ten years, but I wasn’t happy. You obviously weren’t either. Brad makes me happy. He is the one I want to be with. There is nothing you can say that will change my mind. It’s over.”

He sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. I watched him across the table. He seemed so composed, so unaffected, so void of human emotion.

“Is this about him?”

“This is about me.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.” I wasn’t going to lie to him. He needed to hear the truth.

Colton dragged in a deep, powerful breath. “I was afraid of that.”

He leaned over in his chair, pulling out a manila envelope from his bag and slid it across the table. Something churned in my gut. “What’s this?”

Colton leaned back and crossed his legs, looking every bit of the politician’s son that he actually was. “Open it.” He gestured, then ran the pad of his thumb along his bottom lip. Nerves swirled inside my stomach.

He was looking too confident, too smug.

My shaky hands unfastened the clasp and pulled out a stack of 8x10 photos. What I saw disgusted me. There were dozens of photos of that night where he showed up at my apartment. There were close-ups of his bloodied eye swollen shut, and a lip that looked busted. There were also pictures of Sawyer and Lucas dragging his helpless body out of my building and shoving him into the back of Sawyer’s Jeep. As I flipped through the remainder of the stack, there were several images of Brad pinning Colton to the wall as a uniformed officer stood in the background and watched. They were from that morning when he ambushed us. “What is all this? Where did you get these?”

Colton leaned in. His powerful gaze swept over me like a winter cold front and I couldn’t help but feel like my world was going to get flipped upside down.

“Well, Lexi, let me tell you something.” He never called me Lexi. “That.” He pointed to the pictures. “Is one hell of a lawsuit for the state of New York. You see… I haven’t felt all that safe since I’ve been here. I’ve actually been quite worried about my safety. When I came to peacefully talk to you at your apartment the other night, I was a little surprised when you invited me in to talk. I soon realized that you had set me up to be ambushed by that animal cop you say you’re in love with. I made no aggressive moves as the photos clearly show, yet he continued to pummel a defenseless man into a pile of mush. I was so worried about being attacked that I asked a private investigator to photograph our encounter through the balcony window of your apartment.”

I sat there speechless and sick to my stomach. Colton leaned over and smacked a newspaper down in front of me. I jumped.

“Have you had a chance to read the Times this morning? I doubt you have.”

On the front page above the fold was a picture of Senator Hunt, flanked by the Commissioner of the NYPD and the Mayor. They were standing in front of an older building in Harlem, now called the Hunt house. It had been recently renovated into a shelter for abused woman. My hand flew to my mouth. Oh my God! He was so fucking sick. I pushed the paper out of the way when I saw the article quoting Senator Hunt championing for abused women.

Colton seemed pleased by my reaction. “Pretty good picture of the old man, isn’t it?” He smirked.

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