Page 73 of Hard To Stay

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Brad

I grabbedmy bag out of the car and picked up the bouquet of flowers off the passenger seat. As I drove closer to my apartment, a sense of peace settled over me. I couldn’t wait to wrap her up in my arms, inhale her scent and kiss the hell out of her. It had been 72 hours since I last saw her face. Three days where I hadn’t been able to sleep next to her. Minutes and hours lost that I couldn’t wait to get back.

“Honey, I’m home.” I hollered, throwing my keys into the bowl by the door. I set my bag down on the floor and started to move through the room. My eager strides could not get to her quick enough. I needed to see her like I needed air to breathe.

I walked into the bedroom and froze when I saw Lexi sitting on the bed with her shoulders hunched forward. Tears painted both of her cheeks and her eyes were swollen red as if she had been crying all morning long. I rested my hand on the door handle while trying to settle my pulse.

“What’s wrong?” I stepped forward, noticing her entire body was shaking.

I’m so sorry.” The sob that came from her chest tore through me. My body made it to hers quickly. I threw the flowers on the bed and pulled her into my arms. She clung to me like it was the last time she would ever get the chance to again.

“Sweetheart, talk to me.” My hands cupped her face as I gently began to wipe away her tears.

“God. I can’t do this.” Her voice sounded flat, lifeless and unconvincing. Something was seriously wrong here. She stood up from the bed, with a vacant look in her eyes.

“Can’t do what?” I asked, as she reflexively pulled away from me when I reached out to her. I quietly followed her into the living room and that’s when I noticed her packed bags sitting by the door. How the hell did I not notice them when I walked in?

Lexi slid onto the couch. She looked like she was shutting down. There was so much confusion rolling around within me. I didn’t know what to do with it.

She closed her eyes and took two deep, cleansing breaths. “This isn’t working.”

My eyes widened as I tried to keep my voice calm and steady. “What’s not working?”

“Us. We are not working.”

“What are you talking about? Where did all this come from? Talk to me.” I felt like Babe Ruth had taken a home run swing at the side of my head. How long had she been feeling this way? How did I not see this coming?

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about us while you were gone.”

“Okay.” My trembling hand covered hers. She looked like she was breaking apart right before my eyes and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.

“I really do love you and I appreciate everything you have done for me.”

Her words started to stall in my brain and my vision blurred. I tried to keep my voice leveled. “Would you mind telling me what this is about? Because it sounds to me like you’re trying to break up with me.”

“God, this is so hard. I’ve been over this a million times in my head since you left.” She looked away from me. “I can’t do this anymore, Brad. This relationship isn’t working. I feel like such a coward. You deserve so much better than this.” Confusion swept over me. I was so beside myself I couldn’t even think. “I’ve had my doubts since that night you saw Emily at the club.” She said, closing her eyes as my hand fell from hers.

My fingers yanked on the ends of my hair in a desperate attempt to avoid punching a fucking wall. My pulse was racing. “We have been over this, Lexi. You told me you believed me when I said I was over her.” I put my head in my hands, trying to process what the hell was happening.

“I lied!”

I snapped my head up. “Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t being honest with you. I know you believe you are over her, but there is something not allowing me to believe it. No matter how hard I try, I keep coming to the same conclusion. Your being gone did me a lot of good.”

“We will have to agree to disagree on that fucking statement.” The bitter words poured from my mouth as I was about to lose my shit.

“I know you love me, but I still feel like I’m second place in your life… with everything. With her, with your job.”

“My job?” I sputtered out. I felt like I was living in the twilight zone. What the hell could have possibly happened while I was gone? My mind buzzed with a million questions. I stared at her, looking for a resemblance of the woman that I thought I knew. This wasn’t the same woman I had fallen in love with. I didn’t know who this woman was, but she wasn’t the same woman I had spent the last couple months with. She felt foreign to me and there was no reasonable explanation for this to be happening.

She wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. “Yes, your job will always come first. You will always have to jump when you are called. Every time you walk out that door I worry that you won’t make it back.”

My head was spinning. Her ramblings made absolutely no sense. “Lexi, forgive me. But you are all over the place right now. I’m going to ask you one more time. What is going on?”

She turned her head away from me. “I’m moving back to Georgia.”

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