Page 88 of Hard To Stay

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lexi

My father started pacingthe room. I don’t ever remember seeing him so upset. He turned away from me and walked over to the long paned window overlooking the garden. I knew he needed a minute to contemplate all that had happened. The room was deathly quiet as I sat; embarrassed after having to tell my parents everything I’d had to go through. They wanted honesty, and that’s exactly what I gave them. Rehashing the past was painful, but I’d kept so much bottled up inside that talking about it brought me a sense of relief.

I still couldn’t believe Colton had raped my sister. That I had actually watched it happen, thinking it was something it wasn’t. I was disgusted, and furious with myself for assuming the worst about Laney. She was a victim, just like me.

How was I supposed to live with that kind of guilt?

My dad lowered his head and sighed. “I will never forgive myself for not believing you when you tried to warn me that he was bad news. If I’d only listened to you. You and your sister…”

“Daddy, no.” Seeing my father in so much emotional pain only made me hate Colton even more. I stumbled to my feet and rushed over to comfort him. He not only had to deal with what Colton had done to me all those years, but to my sister as well. One daughter would have been enough, but both destroyed by the same man was too much to take. Even for someone as strong as my father.

He took my face in his strong hands. “It was my job to protect you and Laney.” His voice cracked when he spoke. “God, I’m such a failure.”

My heart twisted so hard it hurt. He looked utterly devastated. “You had no way of knowing. Colton can be very convincing. He had us all fooled for a long time.”

That’s how monsters like Colton survived. They said and did whatever they needed to do to hide the truth.

He rested his hands on my shoulders looking as angry as I’d ever seen him. “That son-of-a-bitch is going to pay for what he did to you and your sister. For what he did to this family.”

My father was a man of a few words. When he said something, he meant it. I had no doubt that he would follow through with his threat. Colton mistook my father’s kindness for weakness, but that was his mistake. I just wanted to forget the past and move on.

My mom stared at us as she sat across the room. She polished off her Manhattan and set the crystal glass on the table. I didn’t even remember seeing her pour it.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you.” She sighed, with her hands fidgeting with the edge of her red silk dress. “I don’t know how or when, but we will get through this, as a family.” She rose from her chair and came closer, her bright blue eyes staring into mine reminding me of the connection we once shared.

“Thank you both, your support means more to me than you could ever know.”

“Alexis,” my mom said, “I’m really, truly sorry about everything.” She glanced at my dad and hesitated. It was weird watching my mother show emotion. She was always so put together. It was odd seeing her so unsure. “I’d like the chance to try to repair the damage I’ve done to our relationship. I know I haven’t been the perfect mother, but I’d like the chance to make things up to you.”

“I’d like that, too.” Tears filled her eyes when I reached over and covered her hand with mine. I didn’t miss the relief that relaxed her shoulders.

My dad put his arm around her, pulling her tight against his tall frame. When I truly looked at them I saw the parents that I once had. Regardless of what had happened, they were still my family. We still had a long way to go, but for the first time in a long time I felt optimistic that we could get back there.

“Alexis!” My dad called out, as I turned towards the door. “That young man out there. You love him?”

I held back a sob; the word love didn’t even come close to describing how I felt about him. “I do, Daddy. So much that it hurts.” I smiled and quietly walked out of the room.

I rounded the corner of my dad’s office, my steps a little lighter, my heart a little fuller. Brad was sitting in the sunroom, talking to Laney. To an outsider he looked to be completely engaged in the conversation, but I could sense his nervous energy from all the way across the room. Even from a distance, I could still see the worry on his face. He lifted his head as I approached and gave me an uneasy smile. I didn’t like to see so much doubt in his eyes.

He stood from the couch meeting me halfway. Our weeks apart felt more like years. There were so many questions, and so many apologies filling the space between us. Promises were made and trust was broken, leaving me unsure where we stood with each other.

“Lexi, please come here.” I didn’t need to be told twice. I rushed to him as his arms came around me and stroked my back. “God, I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered against my hair pulling me close. I loved the feel of his body pressed against mine. This was all I ever needed. His strength always made me feel strong, even at my weakest moments.

“I missed you, too.” I sobbed, and dropped my head down on his shoulder. I was so overcome with emotion. Even though everything I did was to protect him, it still felt like I didn’t deserve his comfort or his compassion.

Brad pulled back, cupping my face in his hands. “You are so goddamn beautiful. I was afraid I would never get a chance to do this again.” He brushed a soft kiss against my mouth. Tears leaked from my eyes, falling onto his lips. My fingers reached up and stroked his chin, the stubble felt rough against my skin. I closed my eyes and prayed that this wasn’t a dream.

A gentle cough interrupted us. I looked up to see my parents staring at us with a look of curiosity. Brad pulled back, reached for my hand, and laced our fingers together. He stood tall and proud as he brushed his fingers against my knuckles.

My father extended his hand. “Mr. Morgan. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Brad nodded with a polite smile. “Likewise, Sir.” He directed his gaze towards my mom and tipped his head. “Ma’am.”

My mother’s manicured fingers pressed down her blonde bob. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was blushing. “Please call me Gwen.” I almost choked in disbelief. No one called her Gwen. As a matter of fact, she insisted on being called Gwendolyn.

Laney shot me an amused grin. Dad however, was oblivious to the informality. “Very well, Gwen. You both can call me Brad.”

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