Page 28 of Blinded
“I’m not your girlfriend, and I don’t want to have a formal Christmas dinner.” Sandra couldn’t keep the impatience out of her voice. “You’ve been pushing my limits since we started this. All I ever wanted was the bondage. I tried to keep it at the club and you pushed for the Wednesdays. Then we went further and had sex. Now I’ve stayed over.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s never enough with you. Why do you keep insisting on doing mundane, vanilla stuff together?” Her voice cracked.
GT cursed low and foul. “Why the hell not? You let me tie you in every pose, say you trust me, and we fuck like rabbits. You agreed to be exclusive when we started. How are you not my girlfriend?”
“Say what?” She looked perplexed. “I agree that we’re great as a D/s couple, but we don’t even like each other.”
What the fuck? “You liked me just fine when I was balls deep in your pussy less than an hour ago,” he spat back.
“Oh my god, did you just say that?” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “You know exactly what I mean. We don’t have anything in common outside the bedroom or the dungeon.”
“How do you know? You’ve never tried. You’ve turned down every invitation I’ve extended, aside from our Wednesday nights. We’ve never been on a vanilla date. This is the first time you’ve stayed after sex or a scene.” His rapid-fire delivery had her speechless for a moment.
Sandra held on to the table with both hands, and her upper body pressed firmly against the back of her chair. “Oh my god, have you grown a vagina?” she exclaimed. “Do you want to talk about feelings now? Are you hurt that I only like you for your body? Feeling used for sex?”
He couldn’t have been more taken aback if she’d picked up a rope and tied him up. GT froze as Sandra got up from the table and fled the kitchen. He didn’t move until he heard the front door slam and she rushed out of his house and maybe his life. Then he rose from his chair and started to gather the remains of their breakfast. If only it were as easy to pick up the remains of his desolated feelings.
Chapter Nine
Sandra dried her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater and then reached for a tissue to blow her nose. She had been sobbing for so long her throat was raw, and she was sure there were no tears left in her body. Sandra hadn’t been this miserable in a long time. It reminded her of when she’d overheard her fiancé, David, talking on the phone. Although it was the catalyst for their breakup, that wasn’t what had hurt the most. Sandra thought she and David had been building a life together. It turned out parental pressure on her side and a lot of ruthless ambition on David’s part had created the relationship rather than love or affection. He had been under the mistaken impression that marrying the boss’ daughter was the way to get ahead at work. Now that it was clear no promotion was forthcoming, his problems with her were taking center stage. He resented her long hours and refused to do much around the apartment they’d shared. Sandra had been busting her ass as a beginning PT and still had to do the bulk of the household chores. David was a slob and she liked things neat, cozy, and organized. Sandra could have overlooked that, but as he went on over the phone about all of her perceived shortcomings, she became angry. Sandra listened to her carefully constructed relationship crumble and realized she would be better off without him. When he lamented she was frigid because she didn’t respond to his lovemaking, her patience snapped. As David ended his call, she marched into the room, handed him his ring, and left without a backward glance.
What she experienced now was the same sense of loss and hopelessness. She huddled in the corner of her couch with her legs against her chest. It reminded her of the gorgeous bondage GT had taken pictures of not so long ago. More tears dripped from her eyes. Bastard! Why did he have to ruin what they had? Didn’t he realize sex would complicate their relationship? I should never have slept with him!
Sandra wanted to scream, but her throat ached from the hours she’d been crying. Maybe ice cream would fill the emptiness? If only she weren’t so cold. She had wrapped herself in a blanket, but it didn’t help because the cold came from inside. No ice cream, then! Sandra grabbed her phone fully intent on doing the next-best thing – calling Ruby. Her finger hovered over the call icon and then moved without a conscious decision – that she could recall – to the pictures, and Sandra started scrolling through the photographs GT had taken. They were a beautiful and a painful reminder of her loss.
GT drummed his fingers on his leg in restless agitation as he tried to concentrate on Jim’s story about a drug dealer who’d dipped his nose too deeply into his own product. He hoped Sandra would show up at the club tonight. Over the last week, he had called, texted, and even gone to her apartment building. Despite all his efforts, GT had no luck in talking to her. Calls went straight to voicemail, texts were unanswered, and the doorman had threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave. GT had never felt so helpless before. He had more control when something went wrong during surgery.
A rush of relief flooded through him as Sandra walked into the club’s main room with Ruby and Julie at her side. He started to rise from his chair as Sandra paused barely long enough to say, “I don’t want to play with you tonight, GT,” and walked past him. What the hell? She’s acting like I’m a stranger to her! Fuck that! Bitterness clouded his mind like a thick fog would take over a winter’s day.
“What did that poor chair do to you?” Jim’s voice broke the haze.
“Huh?” He looked at his friend in confusion. Jim gestured at GT’s hands. His eyes followed the movement. GT had grabbed the armrests so tightly his knuckles were white. It took considerable effort to relax his hold and let go. He saw he’d left handprints in the leather. GT took a fortifying breath. He needed to get a handle on his temper before he confronted Sandra.
Jim seemed to understand and inquired, “What happened?”
“I asked her to dinner.”
“You must have done more than that.” Jim raised his eyebrows in confusion and disbelief.
GT didn’t bother to answer. “Excuse me.” He rose and caught the expression on Jim’s face and the sudden tension in his friend’s body. “Don’t worry – I’m not going to hurt her. I am, however, going to talk to her.”
Jim gave him a curt nod, and GT accepted the gesture as approval. He followed Sandra and lightly touched her shoulder. “Please talk to me, hana.”
She spun around and blasted him with a glare. “I think we had this scene before. You wouldn’t like for me to safeword, would you, Doctor?”
He caught himself before he could respond in kind. “Using a safeword when not in severe pain or distress is as sinful as ignoring one, Sandra. Putting distance between us by calling me by my title isn’t going to work either.” He gave her a level stare. “What’s wrong with a chat? We’ll stay in the main room, and I won’t touch you against your will.”
Some of the tension left Sandra’s body, and she turned to Ruby.
Ruby encouraged, “Go on, honey. I think you should talk to him. I’ll be right here.” Ruby addressed the last to both of them.
GT beamed at Ruby in gratitude. Thank God for small favors! The colorful submissive gave him a look GT couldn’t decipher, but Sandra was more important now. He would talk to Ruby later.
Sandra’s shoulders slumped, and GT felt sorry for her. He wanted to gather her in his arms and kiss the despondent expression from her face, but he made a polite gesture to a secluded table and kept his word not to touch her. He walked behind her as she went over to the low table and settled in one of the chairs.
“Why are you shutting me out, Sandra?” He was desperate and went straight to the core of the problem. She opened and closed her mouth several times, but no words came out. Maybe the direct way wasn’t the best approach. He needed to figure out why she’d run before they could work through the problem. “Let me ask you something else. How do you handle disagreements, usually?”
Sandra’s brows drew together. “I don’t know. I don’t have many, I guess.”
Her answer puzzled GT. “No? Not with Ruby?” Sandra shook her head. “You never fight with your siblings?”
