Page 9 of Awakened Gifts

“Please, Simone. I have to know,” I whisper, my voice still breaking despite my nearly muted tone.

“Why does everyone think I have the answers to the universe?” she groans, but I see the defeat in her eyes. “He talked to me yesterday,” she says, looking as though she feels torn about what to say next. “You felt it, didn’t you?”

I swallow hard. I’m still feeling it, even from in here.

“I’ve never felt anything like that. I’ve never even heard about a draw that strong. Simone—”

The door swings open, interrupting us, and Jase stalks toward me.

“Give us a minute?” he asks, his tone panicky as he looks at Simone.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, her eyes moving to me with sympathy oozing out as she clasps my hand. She hesitates for a moment longer, and then she walks away, eyeing Jase as though there’s a confrontation to come.

I cross my arms over my chest and step away from him. It’s hard to know what to say right now, because I can’t be mad at him for having a counter when I’ve got one in the same room as his. But Jase feels for her. I don’t feel like that for Kellan.

My tears slowly start slipping out, and Jase curses as he closes the distance between us.

“Aria, please don’t. You know I love you. I don’t want this. Fuck. I hate it. I can deny it, though. Just like you have.”

I guess I deserve this. I’ve made Kellan feel inadequate. I was okay with being the worst counter ever as long as I had Jase, but if I lose him—

“You’re not going to lose me,” he says, letting me know the guard to my mind is down. “I love you, baby. Only you.”

But he’s worried he won’t for long, I can see it—feel it as though it’s my own emotion. The waves rolling off of him are almost palpable. He wants her, but he doesn’t want to want her.

“That’s why you wanted to quit the commander position and get away,” I say more to myself than to him. “You’re worried you’re going to choose her if you don’t put distance between the two of you, and their group is going to be with this group until we find out who’s after them. Unbelievable.”

“I won’t choose her. Ever. I love you. I don’t even know her last name, Aria. And I don’t want to know anything about her. Fuck this counter bullshit. For all we know, it could be a trick. She’s been with the Scorpions. They could be behind this. We don’t know anything.”

His pained expression matches the breaking of my heart. Despite the storm raging inside of me, I keep my voice calm, not wanting the desperation I feel in him to elevate.

“Jase, if you weren’t worried about it being real, then you wouldn’t be so freaked out. I get it. I’ve been there, but I didn’t feel this way about Kellan—not this strong. And all the feelings I had for him went cold the second I got you back. What little bit I felt for him never even got close to being a shadow of the feelings I have for you. I think we both see what’s coming. If you feel this strong of a connection so soon, imagine what will happen in another few months.”

He grips his hair with one hand as he turns his back. A small bit of his sanity breaks, and he swears while flipping over a table, causing a tidal wave of crashing objects to scatter around the otherwise quiet kitchen.

A few cooks peer out from the larger kitchen next door, trying to investigate. Once they see it’s the commander, they slink back out. I just stand there—numb and shocked. Destiny hates me. Can’t it see Jase is the best one for me?

“And you’re the only one for me,” Jase murmurs through a choked whisper, his back to me as he grips the counter in front of him.

My lips purse as I try to think of what to say next. I don’t know what, though.

“Everything okay in here?” Kellan’s voice is concerned, and I turn to see him looking through the door from the dining hall.

“We’re fine,” I lie, knowing damn well we’re anything but fine.

He looks around at all the scattered chaos, and then his eyes trail over Jase as he continues to keep his back to me. “You sure? Doesn’t look too fine to me,” Kellan says, his jaw tensing.

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Jase snarls, still not looking at anything but the cabinets in front of him.

Kellan takes a step forward, but I wave him off. “Just go, Kellan. This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

I see the mounds of reluctance in his eyes, but he nods as he backs out, offering one last glare to Jase’s back before he fully retreats. My heart is breaking. No, it’s not breaking; it’s exploding right now.

I’ve worried about him finding his counter, but I never realized the connection could be so unfathomably forceful. I can still feel the pull of gravity as it tries to send him back to the other room.

“Jase,” I whisper, barely keeping my emotions out of my voice, “you should talk to her. As much as I don’t want you to, I’m sure she’s feeling everything you are. I can feel it. And she—”

“No,” he growls while turning around to face me, his eyes full of unshed tears and rimmed red. “I don’t want to talk to her, see her, or even be in the same damn proximity. Let’s go. Let’s find another compound.”

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