Page 40 of Borden 3

Those rules made us crave disorder.

We sought chaos to drown our grief. The group of us, facing the world like we were garbage royalty, happy with the stains of our existence. Happy to paint the world in black because that was what was inside us. Blackness like tar, impossible to wash off, we were so filthy and we pretended to love it.

We were an orphanage without being an actual orphanage. Parentless and ignored by the public. Invisible in the system, ignored by teachers, hated by judgmental parents and well-dressed professionals who rode around in their posh cars and shook their heads at us. Even cursed.

“Where are your parents?” they would say.

“Dead,” I would answer, a happy grin on my face. Yes, smile on the outside so they saw you weren’t hurting, so they felt creeped out by your glee even when your soul was screaming for what it didn’t even know. This defiance shit was an escape mechanism. It felt good to push people away. Even Granny. She was the most judgemental one of them all.

“You better be careful, Em,” Theo would say. “The police might be looking for you.”

Granny had a tendency to be dramatic, calling the cops every time I didn’t get home in time. The police knew us by first name basis, but worse than that, they never turned her away. Especially Officer Young. He was way too invested in this plight of getting me on the straight and narrow. It was a lost cause, I wanted to tell him. I was never going to stop. Officer Young only did it because it was his job. He didn’t actually do it because he cared.

These adults—they pretended they were fighting for us, but they only wanted the kudos. The pat on the back for being “selfless.” I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t selfless when Mom called the cops on my dad every time he beat her.

She turned to alcohol, and I turned to Theo.

My addition was better for my health.

“Maybe we’ll get a whole night without her calling the cops on you,” Theo cheekily said as we travelled down the alleyway and down a set of stairs to a basement.

“I don’t even care,” I replied, evenly. “She’ll give up at some point.”

Before Theo opened the door, he paused to look at me. “At least you got someone trying.”

I crossed my arms, giving him a pointed look. “So do you.”

Theo gave me one of those lopsided smiles. “You mean that?”

“Have I let you down once?”

He still appeared doubtful when he murmured, “Not yet.”

Our nightlife had become my world.

I wasn’t ever going to stop.

Nights with the Lost Boys was filled with games and music. Sometimes, though, when they really wanted to compete, Theo would challenge them to a fight. He never did it to be malicious. In fact, he had spent many nights teaching us his boxing moves. He’d been trained young, he’d explained. I believed him. Theo moved with agility, his strength apparent when he swung his fist in the air.

He always won.

Chapter Sixteen

Borden

When Emma disappeared in the shower, Borden took a call with Hector.

“What do you know?” he snapped.

“Nothing,” Hector returned, sounding equally frustrated. “Dude fucking disappeared.”

Borden blinked slowly. “You lost him?”

“He vanished, man, into thin air.”

“How does a guy vanish with his fucking daughter, Hector?”

Hector let out a long breath. “I’m just as mystified.”

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