Page 80 of Borden 3

I really, really fucked up.

I thought of Granny as he continued to grab at me, overpowering me. My knife wasn’t in my hand anymore. Scattered somewhere on the ground in the midst of his attack. I hardly breathed, fighting hopelessly against him, damning him and Theo, and Mom. Yeah, I damned Mom for all of this—

Suddenly, his weight lifted off me. Hand still in my hair, he tugged hard, pulling me down with him as he fell back in a heap on the ground. My body slammed hard onto the concrete, tearing through my shirt and skinning my arms. I tried in vain to kick him off me, but his weight pressed into me, and then he went completely stiff.

“Let her go,” a deep voice cut through the air, igniting goosebumps down my arms.

I blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what had happened. The man was still on me, but his eyes were wide, and he wasn’t looking at me anymore. I stilled, catching sight of a knife pressed against his throat. I tried looking beyond him, to the large figure overwhelming us.

The man’s grip on me immediately eased, and I quickly crawled out from under him, panting heavily as I fought to stand up on my own two feet. I was wobbly and confused. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I searched for my backpack. On autopilot, I found my knife by the wall of the alleyway and quickly pocketed it. Vaguely, I was aware the large man was beating my attacker, but I was too dazed to look.

“You alright?”

I whipped around, looking up at my saviour through bleary eyes. He was tall. Taller than Theo and broad. He looked startled at the sight of me. He walked to me like I was an injured bird he wanted to care for.

No, I’m not alright. I wanted to say. Please, make the pain go away.

“Of course I’m alright,” I snapped instead, my trembles multiplying as I bitterly added, “What a stupid question.”

His body stilled and his face fell. “Don’t give me attitude, girl. I just saved you.”

He just saved me? Like Theo had saved me? I scoffed, putting up my walls. I wasn’t going to fall for that again. “I didn’t need your help.”

The words fell out of me. This sheer need to pretend I was okay. That this had not further obliterated my world on a night that could have been so different.

I spoke from a place of hurt, and I needed to get away. I might crumble otherwise. Might have dropped to my feet and hugged the man’s leg and begged him to hold me. I needed to be held for once. To be patted on the back by a doting person who cared that I was truly okay.

I’m so lonely.

Instead I pushed him away. Like I pushed Theo away. Like I was continuing to push Granny away.

I’m so, so lonely, and I don’t know how to ask for help.

I hurried out of the alleyway and found my backpack. My knees nearly buckled beneath the weight of me as I picked it up from the wrong end. The contents fell straight out. I didn’t even know where along the way the zipper had opened! I looked down at the scattered mess as my rescuer continued to approach me. He said something else. I barely heard. Blood whooshed in my ears.

“I promise I won’t leave you.” And yet Theo left me minutes later. I choked down my emotion, feeling my hurt turn to anger.

I pushed away my saviour like I pushed away everybody. With defiance and bitterness. With cold words and a steely stare.

I looked at him, but I didn’t see him.

I saw Theo and I saw my mother. I saw my father’s drunken rage and felt my tiny form trembling in bed as I clutched my teddy bear and whispered a prayer for my mom to be okay this time.

I looked at my saviour and I wanted him to fight for me. To knock sense into me. To hold me even when I fought. To tell me it was going to be okay.

“Let me help you,” he implored.

“Help is for the weak,” I returned, leaving him dazed and rattled.

Chapter Twenty-Eight-

Borden

The bikers didn’t show up all at once. One at a time, a handful of them arrived at the club hours apart, and not on their bikes. Hawke was the last to appear, with fucking Tyler at his side, appearing in a shitheap of a truck.

“The fuck is that?” Borden questioned, peering at the red disaster as he opened the doors to let Hawke through.

The behemoth biker grinned. It always took Borden offguard to see the fucker’s face not buried in a beard up to his chest. “You want me to be obvious, Borden? You said to show up under the fuckin’ radar. Here I fucking am, under the radar.”

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