"That would be nice," I sigh blissfully. "Just like the old days."
The waiter appears with our drinks, and I waste no time throwing the shot back. My face twists at the burning taste of vodka, but I quickly wash it down with a sip of the Cosmo.
Margot scans her eyes over the menu, fingers tapping the table. "I'm thinking of a burger today. What about you?"
"I think I forgot to eat lunch today," I answer in a monotone. "So, at this stage, I'll eat anything."
We order some food, making small talk while Margot fills me in about her day. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm barely listening, my mind somewhere else, but when she asks me a question, it snaps me back to reality.
"So, are you staying at your folks' house while they are away? It would save some time and travel."
"No!" I quickly answer, clearing my throat. "I mean, no I'm not."
Margot blinks at me. "Why?" she asks slowly. "I thought you liked house sitting."
"I'm…" I trail off, trying to think of some excuse. "I'm currently rearranging some stuff at home. Plus it's too much of a pain carting my stuff back and forth."
"But you wouldn't be?" she questions suspiciously. "You'd just take the stuff you need for the week in one go."
I freeze, brain frantically searching for a magical answer.
Our food gets placed in front of us but we barely realize, gazes locked. More time passes by and when I finally open my mouth to reply, Margot cuts me off.
"Is this about Hawk and Jett?" she asks firmly.
"Why would it be about them?" I answer quickly.
She shakes her head, leaning back with her arms folded. "You're being really strange, Rayne."
"I'm just tired," I argue but she rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah… work and all. But you've been there for years, overworked countless times and you've never been this fucked up. I think something else is going on."
I stare at her blankly. "Nothing is going on."
Margot relaxes her composure, lowering her voice. "Is this about the party? Did something happen? Did they do something to you?"
"What do you mean do something?" I shoot back. "Of course not."
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize I've put two feet in the grave. Margot's eyebrows shoot up.
"I mean did they do something to hurt you," she says slowly, scanning my face. "You've always told me when they had."
My mouth feels dry, and I grab my drink, taking a sip as I look away. I can't face her at the moment.
"They are just assholes," I mutter into my glass. "You know what they are like."
There's an awkward silence, her gaze burning into my cheek. I know she's connecting the pieces, and I feel dizzy, like I could faint.
"Rayne," she says sternly, forcing me to look back at her. "What happened?"
I want to break down crying. I can't lie to her—I already did and it's been eating me up inside. But… I also don't think I can tell her my secret. It's disgusting, revolting…
One incident I could possibly explain away…
But two?
Tuesday night was terrifying. I've never known or experienced a rollercoaster of emotions before like that. One minute I was terrified, then afraid for my life… then I was inundated with their touches, the feel of them. And slowly, it's broken me. Because I've spent the last two days thinking about it to the point of obsession and madness. I could pretend I hated the night at the key party, but I didn't fight them the other night. No—I gave in, willingly. And when they left me, I had no choice but to face the fact I wanted them to stay.