Page 40 of The Break-Up Pact

And right now, I feel it—electricity in my skin, vibrating in my body, humming in every place Levi and I have touched.

Chapter Twelve

“Well, if it isn’t Benson Beach’s most infamous celebs,” says Gerry when Levi and I walk up to the entrance of the one and only tourist-free bar in town, unsubtly named the Bar. “I assume you’re here to autograph everyone’s cocktail napkins.”

Gerry looks very much unchanged from high school, sporting the same close-cropped haircut and wearing the same plaid flannel with the same high-waisted jeans she probably owned back then. She gives me a teasing smile, then leans in to hug Levi and clap him on the back. She was in his year in high school and co-ran the Science Olympiad team with him, but is now otherwise occupied as the host of the Bar’s open mic nights on weekdays, where her wry, understated sense of humor has everyone in stitches between sets.

By virtue of this talent, she’s also in demand for all the queer weddings in and around the Benson Beach area. It started when she got ordained to officiate a wedding for two of our classmates a few years back who wanted a less traditional ceremony, considering one bride’s parents were religious and the other bride’s were anything but. Gerry seamlessly handled the whole thing, with both families happily crying and cackling throughout the ceremony in a display that Annie declared “absolute fucking magic, like watching high-stakes wedding Jenga.” Ever since then, Gerry’s been known not just for the jolt of fun she adds to weddings, but her ability to adapt to any kind of situation to make ceremonies all the more personal and meaningful.

Enough classmates have gotten married over the past few years that we’ve all seen her in action, so we planned on her officiating Dylan and Mateo’s wedding before there was even a wedding to plan. When they approached her about an outdoor ceremony incorporating a few touches of the Catholic mass Mateo’s parents wanted to keep with the overall party vibe that both families enthusiastically agreed on, Gerry immediately and delightedly rose to the challenge, Zooming with both sets of parents to make sure she got everything just right.

Mateo and Dylan have been meeting with her on and off for the past few weeks to plan out the ceremony, but still wanted to go over how their vows would fit into the ceremony, now that they’ve both written theirs. We figured we’d make a night of it, since we’ve been missing so many happy hours lately as it is. Then Dylan added Levi to the group chat to invite him along, which is why Levi is now stretching his long limbs out after being subjected to another drive in Bugaboo.

“Forget the cocktail napkins,” says Levi to Gerry. “We figured we’d get some Sharpies and go for the front door.”

Gerry laughs, then steps aside to let us in. “It’s nice to see your face around town again, dude,” she tells him before turning to me. “And yours too, June! Feel like it’s been a hot minute. Where’s the rest of the crew?”

“Sana’s got deadlines, but Mateo and Dylan should be by soon,” I tell her.

The thing is, I don’t usually see much of Gerry or her girlfriend, Lane, since we come in on Thursdays, when there aren’t any open mics. I feel a quick pang that we haven’t been able to keep it up lately, especially knowing how much Dylan loves all our weekly traditions—everyone going around and sharing the weirdest part of their week, or splitting whatever ’90s-themed snack the bar happens to have in its ever-running rotation of them. But at least we’ll be able to catch up tonight.

“Oh, they’re coming by tonight?” asks Gerry. I tilt my head because it’s unlike Gerry to forget a meeting on the books, but she adds, “Sounds good. Can’t wait to get emotionally compromised by their vows.”

We head into the Bar with its familiar low lighting and framed Benson Beach memorabilia on the walls, nodding at people we know and people we know of, which makes up most of the people here. What the Bar lacks in name creativity, it makes up for by being one of the most fun spots in town—it’s rare there’s a night that doesn’t come with some new story about a classmate cutting their own bangs in the bathroom or one of the town’s older residents busting into a drunk karaoke medley. If you’re going to let loose, this is the safest, most supportive place to get it out of your system. What happens in Benson Beach Bar stays at Benson Beach Bar, as the saying goes.

Just as we settle in to a table in one of the dimly lit corners of the Bar, Gerry takes the small elevated stage and adjusts the mic. “Good evening, one and all,” she says, eyes scanning the crowd. “Before we start, a quick reminder that yes, our tater tots are delicious, but please enjoy them with a modicum of dignity. I’ve heard enough When Harry Met Sally reenactments tonight that even I’m blushing, and I’m pretty sure at least half this town has seen my tits.”

“Thunder and Lightning!” Lane calls appreciatively from the audience.

Gerry settles a hand on her chest and says, “Forever honored you remember their names. The two of them will join me tonight in appreciating our very talented lineup for this evening, all of whom will be rewarded for their efforts with free throat lozenges they can claim up at the front. Without any further ado, let’s welcome Hannah to the stage as our first performer for a night of good old-fashioned, wholesome scream poetry.”

I blink. Levi goes very still.

“Please tell me she did not just say what I think she said,” says Levi.

“Oh my god,” I wheeze, putting a hand to my mouth. “Oh my god.”

Levi’s face is a cross of disbelieving amusement and mild horror. “You monster. You waited ten years to exact your revenge.”

“I didn’t know!” I say, nearly gasping from the effort not to laugh as the first performer walks up to the stage. “I swear! Tonight was supposed to be the night people shared excerpts from their original fiction.” I know this for a fact because I was hoping it might inspire Levi to come back and share some of his own.

But Levi shakes his head. “No, no, I see clearly now. Everything leading up to this moment was in your hundred-step plan to trap me in this bar and—”

“AGING IS A SCAM.”

We startle and there is Hannah, who cannot be any taller than five feet but apparently has the vocal cords of a lion, yelling into the mic. The mic. Because apparently what we were missing from the time Levi accidentally dragged us to scream poetry as teenagers was more amplification.

We may very well not survive this night.

“DO YOU THINK GOUDA GETS UPSET ABOUT GETTING OLDER? NO. IT JUST GETS MORE EXPENSIVE AT TRADER JOE’S,” Hannah bellows ferociously. “BE LIKE GOUDA! KNOW YOUR WORTH!”

“Scream it, girl!” someone calls from the audience.

“Goudadvice!” calls someone else.

Levi lifts a hand and says to the server, “We’re going to need as many tater tots as you can legally give us.”

The night only gets increasingly more chaotic from there. A retired teacher gets up and screams a rewrite of her wedding vows, ending with an “I WILL LOATHE AND DISHONOR YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE!” so visceral that I’m sure wherever her ex is, he just shuddered without knowing why. One of the nail techs at Levi’s mom’s salon follows her up by screaming in multiple languages and finishing it off with an “IN CONCLUSION, FUCK YOU, SARAH, FOR WRECKING MY DUOLINGO STREAK.” Another guy comes up to the mic and just yells, “AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!” over and over again, and then tips his hat with utter sincerity and says in a soft voice, “Thank you. I’ve been workshopping that one for a while now.”

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