Page 18 of The Unraveling

“Okay, that’s all we need from you, Mom. You filled out all the necessary paperwork when you were here yesterday, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Then you can go. Class lets out at three thirty, please be timely.”

Mrs.O’Hara started to lead me away from my mom, who I could see watching me in about four different mirrors.

I saw her turn and go, then Mrs.O’Hara said, “All right, love, go pick out a tutu from the box over there.”

I nodded and then my heart lifted as I realized I’d get to wear an actual tutu. I ran over to the box and found the purple one.

“Ladies, please collect a tutu from the box and then take your places. Thank you.”

The girls ran over to the box, and I scooted away as fast as I could so no one took the purple one.

“Hey, get in line!” said one of the girls.

The kids at school were always snatching things from each other, always screaming and bullying. But I looked now and saw that these girls had formed a neat little line, each taking one and then going over to stand at the wall. All the walls were mirrored, and there was a bar like a stair rail going across the middle.

I got in the back of the line, bouncing a little on my tiptoes as I watched what color each girl chose.

Two ahead of me was the girl in all lavender. She would probably take it because it matched. I hated her for it already.

And then she didn’t. She took a sparkly black one.

So if the girl in front of me didn’t choose it…

She didn’t. She picked white.

I got up to the trunk and reached in for the purple tutu. I clutched it to my chest and then looked around for an empty spot.

“Jocelyn, let’s put you here, okay?” Mrs.O’Hara put a gentle hand on my back and led me. She had me stand between two girls who smiled politely at me. “For today, just try to follow along. Copy what the other girls do. I’ll take those shoes of yours.”

I took off my shoes.

“Good girl,” she said, and then, “now you can have these.”

She held out a pair of pig-pink ballet slippers with cascading ribbons.

“Really?” I asked, excited.

She laughed. “That’s right. Now go on.”

Mrs.O’Hara walked off with my shoes held delicately from her index and middle finger, set them down by the front door, and then clapped her hands together and raised her voice to say, “Ladies, first position, please!”

The girls all seemed to move as one, suddenly going silent and rigid. What was first position?

I noticed the girl in front of me had her feet splayed out heel to heel and her hands just so. I maneuvered myself until my hands and feet did the same.

“Now second,” said the instructor.

The girls spread their feet apart and put their arms out. I copied.

“And third!”

This one was like first. But one arm out in front of me and one to the side.

“Fourth,” she hollered.

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