Page 46 of Give Me Strength

“Uh-huh.” I give her a knowing smile. “The Wynter Martin I know could never stay off the dance floor. She’ll either find a way to incorporate it as part of her PT or convince her physical therapist it was their idea.”

“Wow. That’s cold. I’m impressed.”

I shrug. “I just tell it like I see it,” I say, redirecting her words back at her.

“Yes, you are. Give it a few years, and you’ll replace me as the principal dancer at Bayard.”

“I don’t know about that. Don’t I have to get in first?”

She waves a hand dismissively. “I wouldn’t worry too much about that either. I got the video added to your admissions application materials. Of course, I had to disclose why it was filmed at a graveyard, but I got it in.”

Translation: There was a price to pay.

“That’s a huge favor, Wyn. One I didn’t ask you for. What did it cost you?”

She shrugs. “My seat on the advisory board to the admissions committee.”

My brows meet my hairline. “What? Why would you give that up for someone like me?”

“Because I believe in you.” She reaches across the table and takes both my hands in hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “And also, because it’s what Rachel would’ve wanted. As a legacy, she also had a seat on Bayard’s advisory board for the admissions committee. So, too, did your mother. Either one of them would’ve done the same thing, and I’m willing to stake my reputation on that. Besides, it’s only for one season. I’ll get it back next year. I just can’t weigh in on this year’s decisions in the interest of fairness.”

Her kind words threaten to break the dam inside me, and the tears prickle at my eyelids. They are a balm to my soul, a reminder that despite everything, I am not alone. I manage a small smile, feeling the weight of her words, and she gives me another reassuring squeeze.

“How are you doing, personally?” she asks, changing the subject. “Outside of ballet, that is.”

“It’s been a rollercoaster.”

“I’ll bet.” She nods, taking another sip of her espresso. “What’s it like living with Gilbert?”

I pause, considering the question. “It’s, umm…” Nice. Warm. Comfortable. Confusing. Frustrating. My cheeks flame as the emotions cycle through me, and I settle on, “Different.”

Her head tilts to the side, studying me. “Don’t sugarcoat it on my account.”

I sigh. “It’s, umm… complicated. But I’m trying to take it one day at a time.”

“Ah.” Her expression shifts to that of understanding. “You like living there full-time because it’s a much better home environment than your dad’s place ever was. But you still see it as Rachel’s house, even though she’s gone. The fact that you like him makes you feel even more guilty, like you’re betraying her memory or something. The thought alone has you feeling a type of way about the situation.”

I agree with all of it, up until the last part. “I don’t?—”

“Please.” She lifts a hand. “You’re handling it better than you realize. And remember, it’s okay to lean on others when you need to. Also, you need not worry about what Rachel would or wouldn’t do. Nor should it make a difference. She’s dead, you’re alive.”

I shake my head. “It’s not a switch I can simply flick on and off.”

“I know.” She gives me a warm smile. “She loved you, you know? Rachel did. You were like a daughter to her.”

“You mean I was one of her favorite students.”

Wynter laughs at that. “No, I was one of her favorite students. You were so much more than that. You had your own room at her house.”

“So did you.”

“I had a room. That’s not the same thing. And that only happened because my mom wanted to test out the whole ‘living apart while she was on assignment’ thing and see how I handled it. She trusted Rachel to help ease me into that transition. So did I. Believe me when I say that she would want you to be happy. And she would want Gilbert to be happy too, like she was.”

“‘Like she was?’ What does that mean?”

She cocks her head. A beat passes. “You really have no idea, do you?” She studies me with a quizzical expression on her face. “How’s that possible? You were right there. They were discreet, of course. They had to be, all things considered. Still, I assumed you knew about them.”

I lift a questioning brow. “Knew about who?”

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