Page 76 of Give Me Strength

“Fine.” Aunt Bonnie sighs, her eyes softening. “Gilbert is alright, I guess. For someone who married his sister.”

I freeze. My phone slips from my fingers, landing on the floor with a thud.

Umm… what?

The room seems to tilt, and I clutch the edge of the couch. A part of me wonders if she’s just saying that to hurt me for not telling her about Leland, but it doesn’t appear to be the case.

She continues, seemingly unaware of the effect that revelation has on me. “I did hear rumors that…”

Blood rushes to my ears, drowning out the sound of her voice. The air feels thick, like it’s hard to breathe.

“His… what?” I finally manage to say, my voice shaking.

She stops talking. Her head tilts as she studies me, confusion flickering in her eyes. “Him and Rachel were step-siblings. Did he not tell you that?”

The room seems to shrink around me, my breath coming in short, shallow gasps.

“How dare you?” I force out between clenched teeth

She doesn’t flinch. “How dare I?”

“Just because you don’t like him, it doesn’t mean you can make up things about him.”

“Lynn, don’t put words in my mouth. Not once did I ever say I didn’t like him. And I have no reason to lie to you about something like that.”

Gilbert walks into the room, his face lighting up when he sees us, oblivious to the storm he’s just walked into. His eyes find mine, and he must see something there because his smile falters.

“What’s going on?” His gaze shifts between Aunt Bonnie and myself.

I stand, my legs feeling like jelly. “Is it true?” I ask him, my voice barely above a whisper. “Rachel was your sister?”

His face pales, and that’s all the confirmation I need.

“Not by blood,” I hear Aunt Bonnie say, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. It makes me feel worse. Much, much more worse.

Used, too.

“Ash, I can explain.” Gilbert takes a step toward me, but I hold up my hand, stopping him.

“Did Mom know?”

He nods. “Rachel told her.”

“Before or after they slept together?”

He looks away, guilt etched into every line of his face. “Before.”

“I see. I guess I wasn’t deemed important or trustworthy enough to know.”

“No, it wasn’t like that.” He shakes his head, desperation creeping into his voice. “You already have so much on your plate, and I didn’t want to burden you with that knowledge.”

“Burden me? That’s rich, coming from you.” I feel a sob rising in my throat, but I swallow it down. “All my life, people have either used me for different reasons, or treated me like this fragile little thing that can’t handle the real world.”

“That’s not true,” he says, his voice breaking. “You are so much more than that, Ash. What I feel for you... it’s different, it’s?—”

“Feelings aside,” I interject, cutting him off. “This is worse, Gilbert. Far worse than anything I could’ve imagined. I trusted you, with a lot of things. Things I don’t share with anyone else. But you don’t trust me enough to reciprocate.”

“I do trust you, and I wanted to tell you,” he says, his voice full of desperation. “I just didn’t know how.”

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