Page 56 of Drive

Jaxon

I knew, even before I opened my eyes.

Claire was gone.

I lay there for a while, eyes closed, thinking about the night before.

Stay.

I’d finally said it. Finally told her what I wanted. I told her the truth, I told her everything and she stayed with me. Let me take her upstairs. Get her naked. Take her to bed.

We talked for hours. Kissed and laughed. I held her until my lids grew heavy and I followed her into sleep.

I love you.

That was last thing I said to her before I dropped off.

I love you too.

That’s what she said.

Then she left.

And it’s no less than I deserve.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I sit on its edge and stare out the window while the pressure in my chest crushes the air from my lungs.

I hear noises coming from downstairs. The refrigerator opening and closing. The slide of silverware in the drawer. Someone rifling around in the pantry.

Simon.

I’ve tried to make Sunday breakfast a thing but he sabotages me, every chance he gets. If I’m not up and cooking before he comes downstairs, he slams a quick bowl of cereal so he can tell me he’s already eaten.

I guess I deserve that too.

You know what? Fuck that.

Yes, I’ve made mistakes, but I was a kid. A kid who was a father. Scared shitless, just trying to keep my head above water. Yes, I could’ve done better but I tried.

I’m still trying.

I stand, stalking my way across the room. Pulling a pair of jeans from my drawer, I jerk them up, barely closing the zipper before finding a T-shirt. Jam my feet into boots without socks.

Claire said she was going to stay.

I told her what I want and she said yes.

If she changed her mind, I deserve to know why.

Even if I don’t deserve it, she’s going to look me in the eye and tell me anyway.

Even if I don’t like the answer.

I take the back stairs into the kitchen where Simon is. I’ll call my mom. She’ll come over and stay with him. I’ll take my bike. Fuck, I’ll walk if I have to.

I’m going to get her.

I’m bringing her home.

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