Page 66 of Reaching Ryan

Chapter Twenty-eight

Grace

Four hours after walking through the towering set of brass-trimmed doors of Bay State College, they open back up and spit me out onto the sidewalk.

Ryan is waiting for me like he said he would be, sitting a bench outside the building. Just the sight of him makes my knees shake and my mouth tingle.

So he kissed you? Big deal—it’s not like you’ve never been kissed before.

Yeah, except that I haven’t.

Not like that.

Before Molly, my sex life consisted of inept high school boys who thought just because they knew the password to their dad’s Pornhub account, that they made them experts on how a woman likes it.

After Molly, my sex life is even sadder.

And by sadder, I mean non-existent.

How pathetic am I that a thirty-second kiss that barely involved tongue is the highlight of my—

“Grace.”

Jesus Christ, he’s standing right in front of me. Over me. So close I can see flecks of gold in the irises of his eyes and smell the faint scent of the soap he used in the shower this morning. Looking down at me like he knows there’s something wrong with me, but he isn’t sure what. “Yes.” The word comes out on a breath and if desperation ever had a sound, that was it.

Jesus, Grace—pull it together.

“I said how’d it go?”

“Good.” It comes out sounding like a question, so I clear my throat and try again. “At least I think it did…I didn’t actually take the placement test.” I say, gesturing toward his with the pile of brochures and course catalogs I’m carrying. “When I tried to sign in to take it, they said I didn’t need to. I spent the morning being given a private tour of the campus by the Deans of Admissions.”

“Hmm,” he says, reaching into the space between us to pull the stack of folders from my arms and into his with a smirk. “So, you’re in.”

“Yeah,” I say, giving him a shrug. “I mean, I guess I am… I still need to figure out the tuition. My financial advisor gave me a whole list of scholarships and grants she thinks I might qualify for.” Saying it all out loud makes it real. Before Molly, it was a foregone conclusion that I’d go to college. Get out of Bennett like Cari did, but I gave up that dream a long time ago, and even though it’s why I’m here, why I stayed in Boston, I’m still having a hard time believing that it's real.

“You’ll figure it out,” he says it like it’s a sure. Like he believes in me. “Are you hungry? Want to go grab some lunch?”

“That’d be great,” I say, my stomach grumbling in response. “I burned off that piece of toast hours ago.”

“Can we swing by Sojourn first?” he says, giving me his regular, flat smile and a tilt of his head. “I need to get my stuff out of there before the nursing staff burns it in effigy. It won’t take long—I don’t have much.”

“Yeah. Sure.” I give him another cheery smile. “Lead the way.”

Making sure to measure my steps to match his shorter, shuffling stride, he leads me down the sidewalk toward one of the paid lots at the end of the block. “You didn’t have to park and wait for me outside the building,” I tell him, spotting the bright yellow roof of my car. “You could’ve texted me. If I’d known you were out here I would’ve—”

“I don’t know how to text,” he tells me, reaching into the pocket of his jeans to pull out my car keys. “And even if I did, I don’t have your number.”

Oh.

“And I didn’t just sit on a bench and wait for you.” He hits the fob to unlock the car. “I went to the Vet Center. Talked to Con. Checked on my apartment,” he reaches out to open my car door and I slide past him to settle into my seat. Instead of shutting my door, he stands in the wedge of it, arm leaned against the roof so he can look down at me. “It’s ready. I could move in tonight if you wanted me to.”

“You don’t have any furniture,” I say, shaking my head, trying to find a plausible excuse for him to stay. “A bed. You can’t—”

“I basically slept on the ground for a living.”

“I don’t…” The words flutter in my throat and I shake my head. “I mean, you promised Molly a game night and I thought we could order pizza for dinner.” I’m babbling. I know I’m babbling but I can’t help it so I look away from him in an effort to convince myself I’m not a hot, desperate mess. “There’s this great little place around the corner that Tess dragged us to last weekend and—”

“I shouldn’t have.” The low rumble of Ryan’s voice fills the space between us and I can’t help but look at him.

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