Page 10 of Forsaken

“I can just take my own car,” I stuttered as the thought of climbing on the huge bike behind Mav made me both hot and cold at the same time. When he’d held me earlier in the garage as I’d tried to make my escape, I’d been too upset at first to notice how good his body had felt against mine. But then I’d heard his voice in my ear and while I hadn’t understood the foreign language he’d been speaking to me at the time, just the sensation of his voice rumbling against my back had been comforting.

“This won’t work if you don’t trust me, Eli,” Mav said quietly as he continued to hold the helmet out.

I swallowed hard. I knew he was right, but he had no idea what he was asking of me. Being able to escape was all I had.

Mav didn’t budge as he held my gaze and I automatically began gnawing on my lip before I realized what I was doing. I forced myself to move forward and take the helmet from him. It wasn’t a full face helmet so it was easy to put on and I fiddled with the strap as I watched Mav climb onto the bike and start it up. I seriously considered calling the whole thing off, but then I remembered the terror and helplessness that had spiked through me a week ago and again last night and that had me striding up to the bike. I put my hand on Mav’s arm to steady myself as I climbed behind him. The raw power I could feel between my legs was intimidating, but it had nothing on the sight of the broad back in front of me. Every time Mav shifted, his muscles rippled beneath his T-shirt. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my hands, but before I could even find a place to put them to brace myself, Mav turned slightly and grabbed my right hand. He tugged it forward until it was wrapped around his waist. I nearly swallowed my tongue as I felt the hard muscles of his abdomen beneath my palm and to my own surprise, I was eager to wrap my other arm around him as well.

The bike shifted and began to roll forward and as much as I tried to maintain the distance between us, the movement of the bike had me sliding closer to Mav so I could get a better grip on him. The result was every part of my lower body pressed up against him. Thighs, ass, waist…there was no escaping. And I found for the first time in my life, I didn’t care. I didn’t even question what made me lean into him so that I could rest my chest along his back and my cheek on the back of his shoulder. I just allowed myself to feel something I hadn’t felt in years.

Freedom.

I was sweating long before Mav even began breaking down the elements of the first move he was going to teach me.

Mav had been surprisingly quiet once we’d reached the hotel. He’d escorted me to the gym and instructed me to get warmed up by jumping on the elliptical machine while he went to his room and changed. He’d been back within ten minutes wearing a pair of navy blue long athletic shorts and a white T-shirt and when he’d climbed onto the treadmill next to my machine, it had taken every ounce of concentration to maintain my pace. He’d started running on the machine within a few minutes and I hadn’t been able to stop myself from sneaking peeks at his muscled body as it powered forward.

Fifteen minutes passed before he stopped his machine and mine and while he’d barely broken a sweat, I was seriously worried I was going to pass out. Mav tossed me a towel and I followed him to a corner of the gym where there was a clear area. I tried not to let my eyes fall to his ass, but I couldn’t help myself and when I finally looked up, I realized there was a wall of mirrors in front of us and Mav could have easily seen me checking him out. But if he’d noticed my perusal, he didn’t say anything. In fact, he was all business as he began breaking down the different steps and while that should have comforted me, it didn’t.

I was doing pretty well with following Mav’s instructions, but when it came time to actually practice the first move from beginning to end, all my fear came back because Mav had to pretend to grab me around the throat so I could break free of him. The second his big hand closed around my neck, I felt pain start to spread throughout my chest and every breath I took fell short.

“Eli,” Mav said gently. “Look at me.”

I barely heard him over the roaring in my ears, but when he repeated the order, his voice heavier, I opened my eyes which I hadn’t even realized I’d closed at some point. Even though Mav was still holding me by the throat, just seeing his face immediately helped ease some of the panic that was trying to consume me.

“Break it down,” Mav said firmly.

I managed a nod and concentrated on all the steps I’d just spent the better part of an hour learning. It seemed like every one was in slow motion, but when I finally reached the last step to knock Mav’s hand loose, he released his hold on me.

“Good,” was all he said and then his hand came up to grab me again. “Again.”

I didn’t give myself time to think about my fear and managed to get through the moves again, this time just a little bit faster. I knew in a real situation that I wasn’t putting enough force behind the steps to actually reach the end result of escaping the grip on my throat, but the more I repeated them, the more empowered I felt. By the twentieth or thirtieth time, a fierce surge of energy was rushing through me and I began to get excited by the prospect of Mav’s hand closing around my throat. Over and over I knocked his hand away, not caring if I was throwing too much force behind my blows. When Mav finally stepped back to indicate we were done, my lungs were burning and my skin was flushed with heat and sweat.

But that wasn’t the only thing.

I was crying.

I was fucking crying and I had no idea why.

And it felt amazing.

“I…I…” I started to say to Mav in way of explanation, but shook my head because I had no idea how to explain how good I felt. He probably thought I’d completely lost my mind.

But instead of looking at me like he was wondering what kind of head case he’d hooked up with, Mav stepped forward and brought his hand up to gently cup the bruised side of my face. His thumb stroked through the track of tears that were streaming down my face. And then it was dragging the moisture of my tears down to my mouth. All my excitement and pride settled in my gut and exploded into something bigger…something that had me wishing I could find out what his lips would feel like against mine.

We stood there like that for several long seconds until a door opening somewhere jolted us both and Mav dropped his hand. “Nice work. Let’s work on another one.”

And with that, whatever moment there’d been between us disappeared and Mav went back to how he’d been when we’d started this whole thing. Distant, clinical…a stranger.

We spent another hour in the gym going through the four moves Mav wanted me to learn and while I hadn’t had another cathartic episode, my body was buzzing with excitement. While I wasn’t ready to take on someone of Mav’s size and strength, at least now maybe I had a fighting chance. I just hoped my instinct to fight would kick in even when my brain sought to escape into the world I’d created so long ago where nothing could touch me.

Mav grabbed us a couple of waters from a small refrigerator on one side of the gym and I watched as he took several long swallows from his. I could feel my body reacting to the sight of the muscles in his neck working and I actually had to turn away from him so he wouldn’t see my dick swelling behind the thin material of my pants.

“You mind if I take a quick shower before I take you home?”

“No,” I murmured. “I could just call a cab if it’s an inconvenience.”

“Don’t worry about it,” was all Mav said as he threw the empty bottle into the recyclable container next to the refrigerator. “Why don’t you come on upstairs to my room? You can watch TV or something. And if you want to shower-” Mav’s voice dropped off as his eyes fell on me and I realized he must have seen the fear that I couldn’t hide.

Shame went through me at the knee jerk reaction. If Mav had wanted to do something to me, he would have done it a long time ago. But I didn’t know how to explain to him that it had nothing to do with him.

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