Page 14 of Forsaken

“Tell me who this guy is,” I finally managed to get out.

Unsurprisingly, I was greeted with complete and utter silence. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to grab Eli and demand he give me some answers. I wanted to never take my eyes off of him again.

I went back to the chair I’d been sitting in and murmured, “At least tell Dom.”

Eli still refused to look at me. He seemed like he’d gone off to some unreachable place in his mind because he had the same dead look in his gaze that he’d had in the garage. While I understood his need for the coping mechanism, I hated that he felt the need to use it around me. It was a reminder that I wasn’t anything more to him than the men who’d used him when he was a kid.

“Can I use your shower before you take me home?”

I quelled my frustration and murmured, “Sure,” and watched Eli carefully set the water bottle down on the coffee table before heading towards the bedroom. The shower came on a couple minutes later and between the anger that was still surging through me and the realization that a very beautifully naked Eli was just feet from me, I was struggling to keep myself in check. I was half tempted to call up Dominic Barretti and tell him what was going on just so I could get on my Harley and take off like I’d been planning a couple short hours ago. But the idea of leaving Eli when he was clearly in danger made my insides burn and when I reached for the room phone on the table next to my chair, it wasn’t to call the man who’d saved Eli once before.

“Front desk, how may I help you?” said a pleasant young woman’s voice.

“I need to arrange for a rental car.”

“Of course, I would be happy to assist you.”

It took several minutes to secure the rental and I was assured it would be delivered to the hotel within a couple of hours. By the time I was hanging up with the front desk, Eli was coming out of the bedroom. He didn’t speak to me at all; he merely went to the door and waited so I grabbed my phone and wallet from the kitchen counter and followed him from the room. Unlike the ride from Eli’s apartment to the hotel, Eli made every effort not to lean against me and his grip on my waist was only the minimum necessary to keep himself from sliding off the bike. I missed the feel of his front pressed to my back, his thighs hugging mine. I’d been so turned on during the ride over, that I’d actually thought about jacking off in my hotel room after I’d left Eli waiting in the gym for me while I’d changed. Now all I felt was a stark disappointment that he was pulling away from me in every way that he could. It was a feeling I should have been immune to by now and the fact that I wasn’t around this man just angered me more.

By the time we reached Eli’s apartment, he was off the bike before I’d even turned it off. I took the helmet he handed me, but I didn’t get off the bike because I knew what he was going to say just from the way he was shifting back and forth on his feet and refusing to make eye contact with me.

“Maybe we can do dinner some other time…I’m pretty tired.”

“Sure,” I said, though I knew there wouldn’t be ‘some other time.’ I was being kicked to the curb. I ignored the pain in my belly as I watched Eli head around the side of the house. I’d pulled forward enough when I’d parked the bike so that I could see the stairs leading to his apartment and I made sure he was safely inside before I started my bike up again and headed back to the hotel to get the rental car.

Because even though Eli didn’t want anything to do with me, I wasn’t walking away. I’d do what I did best…I’d make sure he was safe and when the threat was extinguished, I’d be the one to leave…something else I was really good at.

Chapter 6

Eli

“Darn, you win again,” I said as I frowned and shook my head dejectedly at the little boy who was grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m really good,” he said, his little hand coming to rest on my arm reassuringly. “I’ve had lots of practice.”

I smiled at that and glanced at the man sitting next to the hospital bed. I shifted uncomfortably at his intense blue eyes. It wasn’t that the man I only knew as Hawke scared me; it was more like every time he looked at me, he saw things I didn’t want him to see. And that reminded me of Mav.

Who I was trying desperately not to think about.

And failing miserably.

“You know what, Matty?” I said as I wrote a big M on the piece of paper covered in Tic Tac Toe boards. “I am going to go home and practice and tomorrow I want a rematch, okay?”

“Okay,” Matty said and he gave me what I could only perceive as a placating smile. Of all the kids I visited each day, Matty was one that stuck close to my heart, though I wasn’t really sure why. Maybe because he had an uncanny ability to empathize with a person; it was unexpected in someone so young. But the first thing he’d asked me the day after I’d left Mav sitting on his bike in front of my apartment three days earlier was why I was so sad. And while sad might not have been the exact right word, the five-year-old boy had come pretty close to nailing what I was feeling.

Lost.

Which made no sense because I’d spent a cumulative total of a couple of hours with Mav and that was it. And what I should have been was angry.

Angry for him prying into my life. Angry that he’d seen the things I’d worked so hard to hide. Angry that he’d let me go when I’d walked away from him.

I started to rise from my chair when Matty held his arms out expectantly. I leaned down and carefully hugged him, mindful of the central line in his chest. I felt tears sting my eyes as I always did when I said my goodbyes to one of the half dozen kids I visited. I’d never known true strength until the day I’d walked through the doors of the ICS unit and seen the smiling faces, little bald heads and frail bodies of the kids who’d been handed the raw deal of being stricken with cancer. And this particular little boy had wormed his way into my heart even further. Maybe because of his compassion or his obsession with superheroes, I wasn’t really sure. I knew part of it was the men who’d banded around him to form a family and that reminded me of the family I’d always dreamed of being a real part of…of the men who’d saved me and showed me what family was even when there wasn’t a shared drop of blood between you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I said to Matty as I released him and stood.

Matty nodded and then did something I wasn’t expecting. He lifted his Spiderman doll and said, “Do you want to borrow Spidey?”

“I…um…don’t you need him?” I stuttered, completely flustered.

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