Page 50 of Forsaken

“Morning,” I heard Jonas say as I entered the kitchen, my bag in hand. I hadn’t expected to find anyone up and about since it was only four o’clock in the morning. He was sitting at the table drinking what looked like a homemade latte. The overhead light wasn’t on, but the light above the stove was so I didn’t have trouble making out his features. His eyes shifted to my bag. “You know Mace as well as anyone,” he said. “You really think he’d let you leave like this?”

I didn’t even get to answer before I heard the front door open and Mace came into the kitchen. He turned on the overhead lights and leaned against the doorframe. “That was one unhappy cabbie,” Mace said. “Had to pay him fifty bucks to take a hike.”

I ground my teeth as I watched Mace walk over to lean down and kiss Jonas. “Are you coming back to bed?”

Jonas shifted his gaze to me, then said, “I’ll be up in a few. Cole has to be up in an hour anyway so maybe you want to wake him up now and I’ll join you in a bit?”

I didn’t miss the suggestive tone in Jonas’s voice and clearly Mace hadn’t either because the next kiss he laid on Jonas was anything but innocent and sweet. When they finally separated, Jonas was smiling happily and Mace aimed a dark look directly at me. “You owe me fifty bucks,” he said before leaving the kitchen. Jonas got up and grabbed a mug off the counter along with a full pot of coffee.

He put it down on the table. “I can make you a latte if you prefer,” he said as he motioned to the espresso machine on the counter.

I shook my head and sat down, reaching for the coffee. “This is fine, thank you.”

Jonas sat back down and studied me as the stillness of the kitchen was only interrupted by the occasional shifting of the dog that was lying at Jonas’s feet. The night before was the first time I’d officially met the young man, but I knew quite a bit about him since I’d been Mace’s backup on the case that had introduced him to Jonas. I’d been charged with gathering information on the young artist who’d been a suspect in several sexual assaults against little boys as well as the disappearance of a boy in Boston. While my role had been to pull together the information Mace needed, Mace’s job had been to end Jonas’s life so he would never hurt another child. And while I’d been assured of the young man’s guilt based on the evidence we’d had, Mace had thankfully held back. Because it had ultimately turned out that Jonas had been set up by one of our own guys trying to collect a contract that had been put out on the young man. My own guilt in the role I’d played had kept me from coming back to New York to meet the two men who’d changed Mace’s life.

That same guilt was rolling through me now, but it was in good company because it seemed that all I could feel since the moment I’d woken up yesterday morning to answer that fucking phone call was guilt and shame.

“It’s not easy, is it?” Jonas asked and I lifted my eyes from where they’d been studying the coffee mug that I suspected one of Jonas’s students had made because it had two stick figures on it with art easels and the words I love Mr. Jonas were written in red letters above the image.

“What?” I asked.

“Letting someone in.”

I didn’t respond, but of course that didn’t seem to faze the young man. “There’s that moment that you always remember…the one where you finally lose all hope,” Jonas murmured softly. “And you have to decide to either go on anyway or just let go.”

I watched as Jonas began running his fingers over the inside of his wrist. He kept his eyes there as he said, “And then fate steps in and changes everything.” Jonas lifted his eyes and let a smile drift across his face as he removed his hand from his wrist. “Of course, then you have to decide if you’re going to take what fate is offering you or if you’re going to tell her to fuck off,” he added with a light chuckle.

He took a final sip of his latte and stood. I watched as he put the cup in the sink and began to walk past me. I wasn’t surprised when he stopped next to me, but he caught me off guard when he leaned down to give me a small hug. “Don’t tell her to fuck off, Mav,” he whispered and then he was gone, turning off the overhead lights. The dog jumped up from the floor to follow him, leaving me alone in the darkened kitchen. It would be easy enough to call another cab, but I didn’t. I didn’t do anything except refill my coffee and sit there in the silence.

And waited.

Chapter 20

Eli

I hadn’t had any idea what to expect as we drove past the jagged hills that blanketed both sides of the desolate road that led to the reservation. I hadn’t seen much from the air because I’d fallen asleep within minutes of the jet leaving Newark and I hadn’t stirred until the landing gear had hit the small airstrip just south of the reservation. Like the previous day, Mav and I hadn’t exchanged more than a couple of words from the moment I’d gotten up, my body still deliciously sore from his lovemaking.

I had no regrets about sleeping with Mav again and even though afterwards had been brutal and I’d needed to hide out in the bathroom to use the sound of the shower to cover my muffled sobs, I knew I’d do it again in a second if he asked me. But I knew the chances of that were slim since our time together was winding down with every hour that passed. I had no doubt he’d meant what he’d said about not returning to Seattle beyond the time it took to collect his Harley.

Once we’d gotten off the plane, there’d been two cars waiting for us. A simple sedan that Ronan had rented for us and a hearse. Mav hadn’t watched the shipping container that carried his mother’s body being loaded into the belly of the plane, and when we’d gotten off, he’d sat silently in the driver’s seat until the driver of the hearse had tapped on the window to let us know they were ready to go and that they would follow us. It was nearing lunch time when we drove past the sign indicating we were entering the reservation and within minutes we were driving into a small valley that was nothing more than dust, a little bit of brown vegetation and a smattering of small houses and buildings spread out over a few hundred acres. There was one main road leading into town with a few smaller roads serving as access points to several houses. A feeling of bleakness settled in my gut as we passed one decrepit house after another. Garbage littered the street and front yards along with old appliances, chopped up wood and endless, unidentifiable debris. Junked out cars were all over the place and to my horror, I saw more than one person lying on porches or along the sides of houses. My first thought was that they were dead, but I realized they were just sleeping. Some had blankets, some didn’t.

“Oh my God,” I breathed before I could think better of it and I instantly regretted it when I remembered that this place had been Mav’s home. I shot Mav a glance. He was stiffer than I’d ever seen him and his fingers were curled around the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles had gone bloodless.

There were more people out and about than I would have expected for such a small town and most looked like they weren’t up to anything in particular. Many were sitting in broken chairs or on old plastic milk crates in front of their houses or in front of the few stores that lined the main street. Many were holding half empty bottles of liquor in their hands. A few kids were riding their bikes down the street and I saw at least two older boys riding horses bareback with only ropes attached to the animals’ halters to help them steer. Stray dogs were sniffing through the garbage and I had to look away when the skinny animals turned on each other and began fighting.

As we made our way past the tiny houses that looked like they would blow over with the next stiff wind, more people began exiting their homes to watch us and I felt an uneasiness settle over me at their blank expressions. “You said you haven’t been back here since you left when you were sixteen, right?” I finally asked as I tried to imagine Mav as one of the dirty, scrawny, poorly dressed children riding their bikes alongside our car.

“Yep.”

“Was…was it always like this?” I asked, hoping like hell I wasn’t insulting him, but still too overcome with what I was seeing to make sense of it.

“Yes,” Mav said quietly. “It’s been forgotten for a long time.”

“Forgotten? What do you mean?”

“The government made the Lakota a lot of promises. Promises they haven’t kept in the 200 years since the first treaty was signed. Nine out of ten people in Pine Ridge are unemployed. About the same number of people are alcoholics and about half those people are homeless. The kids that don’t kill themselves actually look forward to going to bed every night so they can escape the pain of being hungry all the time.”

I swallowed hard as what he was telling me sank in. “How did you survive this?” I whispered in disbelief as I looked around. But Mav didn’t answer me and it didn’t really matter. I was just glad he’d found a way out, though I hated knowing that it wasn’t this cruel, unforgiving place that he’d fled, but a cruel and unforgiving man.

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