Page 61 of Forsaken

I straightened and wiped at my face. “I saw the video…he tried to stop me from…”

Jace shook his head. “My guess is the video he showed you was one he edited to make it look like you instigated the whole thing. Did the video you saw have sound?”

“No.”

Jace pointed to the flash drive in Mav’s hand. “The real video has sound. And you are clearly saying no from the moment he first touches you.”

Logically, I understood what Jace was telling me, but I couldn’t process it. Because along with this new reality came a worse one. I’d made so many decisions based on that one video…on those few seconds of seeing myself seduce my mother’s husband and the friend of the one man I admired above all others.

This time when the bile crawled up my throat, I knew there was no stopping it and I ran to the bathroom. I heaved into the toilet over and over again until my stomach was empty. My throat ached as tears streamed down my face. A washcloth was passed over my face and then a plastic cup of water was handed to me. I rinsed and spit the water out in the toilet, but I couldn’t find the strength to stand. Mav was kneeling in front of me, his eyes heavy with concern.

“He raped me,” I finally whispered, the words making my throat burn. “He fucking raped me,” I said again in disbelief and then I just let go.

Completely and terribly. I couldn’t hold back the anguished sobs that tore from my throat as I absorbed the truth about what had really happened that night and the path of destruction through my life that had followed. Every time I’d let Jack touch me after that had been because I’d believed his lies…

“Oh God, what did I do?” I cried in disbelief as everything came crashing down around me. And when I no longer had the strength to keep myself upright, Mav was right there waiting to catch me.

Chapter 25

Mav

“Do you think I should watch it?” Eli asked quietly, his voice rough. We’d been lying on the bed for more than an hour with me leaning against the headboard and Eli resting his head on my chest. Jace and Caleb had moved to the room next door to give Eli some space to process what had happened to him, but Jace had left his laptop on the nightstand for me so I wouldn’t have to search out mine.

Eli had let everything out in that bathroom and I’d been completely helpless to do anything but hold him. When he’d finally calmed down, I’d helped him to his feet and we’d gotten into bed fully dressed and with just the small light next to the bed turned on. My hope had been that Eli would fall asleep so that I could watch the videos on my own using the ear buds I had stashed in my bag, but I suspected the stress was keeping him too wound up to get the rest he so badly needed.

“I honestly don’t know,” I admitted. The idea of Eli having to witness what had been done to him was unbearable to me, but I was also worried that a part of him would never truly believe what Jace had told him. His stepfather’s doctored video had had a profound impact on him and his brain might not be able to rid itself of those images without proof that they were all lies. I let my fingers trail down Eli’s spine as I tried to deal with everything that had happened in the past 48 hours. A few hours ago, I’d been contemplating if I could really have the life I’d been too afraid to hope for in the years since I’d left my life on the reservation behind me.

But now?

Now I knew.

And I was fucking terrified.

“I lied to you,” I whispered.

Eli tensed, but didn’t move away from me like I’d expected him to.

“When?” he asked softly.

“On the plane. You asked me if I wouldn’t even try to love you,” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “I lied when I said no because I already knew then that I was in love with you.” I swallowed hard. “I love you, Eli. More than you’ll ever know.”

The fingers Eli had been using to draw circles on my chest stilled, but when he didn’t respond otherwise, all my old fears came rushing back. But I forced them down and said, “I know the timing’s not great and that the pain I’ve caused you is unforgivable, but I can’t lose you. If there’s even a chance that you want to be with me-”

That was as far as I got because Eli leaned up at the same time that his hand snagged the back of my neck. His mouth closed over mine and when I let out the pent up air I’d been holding on to, his tongue slipped past my lips. The kiss was over too soon, but when Eli whispered, “I love you, Mav. So much,” against my lips, I felt the relief in every cell in my body. I rolled Eli until he was flat on his back and he instantly wound his arms around my neck.

“You refused to leave me,” I murmured.

Eli tucked my hair behind my ear before trailing his finger over my jaw. “You make me a little less broken.”

I kissed him long and deep before saying, “I’m going to make you whole again, Eli. I’m going to show you how perfect you are and I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

Tears slipped down Eli’s face even as he smiled tremulously and said, “You’re never going to be alone again, Mav. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again and I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

I couldn’t help but feel a rush of joy go through me at Eli’s last words…in a crazy way it felt like we’d just said our own private version of vows to one another.

I kissed Eli again and then sat up, pulling him with me. I teased his mouth with mine as I dried his tears. “We’ll go wherever you want when this is all over. We’ll be each other’s family.”

Eli nodded and then pressed his head against my chest. “I can’t keep running from this,” he said softly. “I…I know now I didn’t do anything wrong,” he said and my heart swelled with pride. But my stomach bottomed out when he said, “I need to watch the video, Mav.”

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