Page 116 of Learning Curve

I can’t say I disagree with her. He’s always been special, and I love him for a reason. But my heart can’t take another U-turn. I won’t survive it.

Wednesday February 12th

Finn

“I feel compelled to give a toast,” Wendy, the matriarch of the Winslow family, announces as she rises to her feet, her majestically silver bob of hair shining under the overhead lights.

The entire gang is here—both the Winslows and the Hayeses—for the first time ever. All of us, in one house. We’ve been together in parts and pieces ever since the big news first broke, but it’s hard to get this many people’s schedules to align. But tonight, we’re all here, Remy having bought Reece a last-minute plane ticket so he could fly home from California yesterday, and thankfully, Wendy’s New York brownstone is big enough to fit us.

“Reece, Finn, Travis, Jack, and Willow,” Wendy addresses, “seeing you all here, so young and vibrant, takes me back to when my boys and Winnie were young.”

“Hear that?” Jude teases, pointing to the Winslow kids. “We’re old now.”

Wendy shushes him immediately. “I didn’t ask for crowd participation, Jude, but now that you’ve mentioned it…yes, you’re old. And so am I!”

Jude laughs, and Flynn elbows him to calm down when he starts choking on spit. Wendy carries on, undeterred. I imagine she’s pretty used to all their shit anyway.

“I’d be honored if you called me Aunt Wendy, and I want you to know that you always have me in your corner. I’m always here for you.” She smiles toward each of us.

“Aunt Wendy it is!” Trav exclaims, and she laughs.

“Thank you, Travis,” Wendy says through a small laugh. “And Helen,” she says my mother’s name and looks across the dinner table at her. “I feel like I’ve gained a friend. A friend I hope I get to know more and more as the years go by. A friend I hope knows that I’m always here for her too. A friend I hope will one day understand the same things that it took me what feels like decades to realize. You are strong. You are beautiful. And you can do anything.”

“Thank you, Wendy. That means more than you probably realize.” My mother’s voice shakes, and a sheen of tears shines in her eyes. She’s been emotional since I set foot in the door, and she greeted me by wrapping me up in a big hug. The past two nights, we’ve had long phone conversations—that she initiated—and I’m happy to see her taking all of this in for the gift that it is. She’s going through a lot right now, and after spending years in an abusive marriage, it’s almost like she has to retrain her brain.

Maybe I should be mad at her for staying in that situation as long as she did, but I’ve never seen my mom as the problem. When she married Jeff Hayes, she had no idea what she was getting into, and once the cycle of abuse started, his ability to manipulate and control was too much for a woman with five young kids. She was a victim like the rest of us, just trying to survive. How can I be angry at her for that?

“Let’s raise our glasses to the Hayes family,” Wendy starts to cheers, but Jude is quick to pipe up again. I have no idea how, but he loves to stir shit even more than Ty.

“And what about us, Mom?” he asks with a wry smirk. “You got anything sweet to say about your actual kids? You know, other than us being old?”

His wife Sophie doesn’t hesitate to slap him on the back of the head. “Ignore him. Please.”

“Hey now!” Jude retorts on a chuckle. “All I’m saying is she could’ve thrown us a bone, you know?” He looks over at Remy, who just stares back at him with annoyance. Then he looks at Flynn, who pretty much does the same.

His sister Winnie immediately says, “Don’t even try to wrangle me into your needy bullshit.”

“Yeah, Jude,” Ty agrees. “If you need someone to suck your cock, ask your wife.” The whole house devolves into an uproar, and Jack and Trav share a high five. One thing about putting all ten offspring of that asshole Jeff together is that things are going to get crazy.

“To the first official Winslow-Hayes Family Dinner Night,” Remy announces, wading into the melee to calm us all down. His wife Maria raises her glass high in the air, and we all follow suit.

I cheers my glass of lemonade with the people closest to me—Flynn, Flynn’s wife Daisy, Jack, and Willow—and allow myself a small moment of wonder.

From where I started to here had a really steep learning curve, but it’s taught me an important lesson I’ll keep with me forever. Hard things are worth it.

“Now, how about some fucking spaghetti?” Jude announces with a big-ass grin on his face. Wendy starts to open her mouth to chastise him, but her words turn into an outright laugh when Jude makes a show of walking the bowl of pasta over to his mom to serve her. “For my beautiful mother. The best mother in the entire world.” He looks over at Helen. “No offense, Aunt Helen.”

My mom just laughs, and Ty picks up a piece of garlic bread to toss at Jude’s head. Jude dodges it on a chuckle.

My newest brothers might be middle-aged men, but they still act like kids. Not a single one of them is the uptight, better-than-thou persona I had imagined the first time I found out about their existence.

“You know what’s crazy?” Travis questions as he serves himself a giant helping of spaghetti. “Jeff Hayes…Jeff Winslow—whatever you want to call that son of bitch—he might be a true piece of shit, but somehow, he managed to create incredibly good-looking offspring.”

The sounds of cutlery clanking and people chatting stop on a dime.

“What?” Travis holds out both hands and shrugs. “I know I’m not the only one who sees that the Hayes and Winslow families aren’t ugly. I mean, Winnie is beautiful with her blond hair and blue eyes. Flynn could be James Dean reincarnated. Remy might be in his fifties, but I swear, people probably confuse him with Superman. Ty could be Zac Efron’s doppelgänger before his face got all fucked up.” Our mom smacks him in the chest, but he keeps going. “And Jude looks like an old Abercrombie and Fitch model from back in the day.” Everyone stares at Travis as he shoves a bite of spaghetti into his mouth and talks around his food. “My siblings aren’t ugly either. Reece is a handsome fuck. It’s annoying how attractive Finn is. Willow is so pretty that I feel like I spend most of my time beating high school douchebags off with a stick. And I’m uberhot, obviously, and since Jack is my twin, I guess he’s okay-looking, too. It’s just nuts, you know? Who would’ve thought an abusive drunk who’s in prison for killing a cop could create such good-looking kids?”

When no one responds, Reece lets out a shocked laugh. “Bro, I think you might’ve taken that shit too far.”

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