Page 55 of His to Worship

“Junq has truly wronged you in this.” She says it as if shocked and I feel an ache of anger at her. Has she not seen every wrong that he has done to me in all my seasons alive? For the first time, I feel blame towards her for her loyalty to this clan and its customs.

“Junq knows no other way,” I retort bitterly. I prepare for her defense, her chiding to be respectful.

Instead she shocks me and says, “These wrongs are a payment of my transgressions and for that I am so sorry, my son.”

My mother has never directly addressed the choices she made that led to my birth and our ultimate fall from grace. Everything I ever learned came from taunts and stories whispered behind hands. To hear her acknowledge it is enough to pull me out of my despondency.

“Junq was always this…vengeful,” she admits, her eyes not on me but trained in her lap. “I knew this as a young girl, so when he demanded to mate with me, I said no.”

“What?” I reel back in shock. I had never known that my mother had other options besides my father. Not that a mated man was truly an option.

“He has never forgiven me for that sin. Then, I was swayed to be with your father, a mated man, a man I could never truly have, his own brother. Then to bear him a son? Junq saw it as the ultimate act of treachery. You have borne the brunt of Junq’s anger for too long. I feel that in this, I have failed you.”

“You have not failed me.” I would never have expected to hear this story from her, but I mean what I say. My mother has loved me thoroughly my whole life. “Junq is atan. He should not be led by a perceived wrong from thirty-three seasons ago.”

“I tell you this story for a reason.” She wrings her hands, the emotions bubbling within her eyes. “My son, you must leave.”

“Mother, what—”

“Listen,” her voice is sharp, but whisper quiet. “When you win today, because you must, you must take your mate and leave. Junq will never forgive, he will only broaden his anger to include her, and one day your kits. You will never be truly safe here and neither will she. You must leave.”

I do not get to respond to this, or even process it because we both go rigid when the familiar thump of drums begins.

“It is time,” she says, her tone softening. She stands and moves to me, holding my face in her hands. “When you win, this hut will be empty for you tonight.”

With that, she pats my face one time and then leaves the hut. I stay there frozen with the revelations and demands she has placed on me. But then, I shake myself loose of those thoughts. It is time to fight for what is mine.

In this, I will not fail.

When I get to the communal fire, the stones of the fire pit have been cleared away, the rocks are being used as seats moved to the outskirts of the open circle, creating a large ring of empty space. The air is brutally cold, though no snow falls from the gray skies. With only two eyes left in the sky, and one of them falling below the other, the light is dim.

The majority of the clan is already seated and waiting when I make my way to the circle of people. I do not take a seat, nor do I bother paying attention to the many glares and stares sent my way. Instead, I scan the crowd, my eyes searching for my mate. My fists clench and unclench when I realize that she is not here.

My gaze connects with a different set of eyes instead and I barely resist the snarl in my throat. Junq curls his lips cruelly, his gaze mocking. I know he is doing this on purpose. Keeping Sedona out of my sight, driving me to the brink of insanity. After what my mother has told me, I realize that he probably does believe me.

He probably does know that Sedona is mine by the act of the Great Mother, but what better punishment than to be forced to watch my fated mate be taken by another male? I look away from him. I will give him no more of my time or energy. I cannot win if I am focused on the desire to pull his throat out with my teeth. Instead, I will channel this rage into these Rites.

And I will win.

I sweep the crowd and it is not hard to guess which of the males I see will be fighting today. Like me, there are several who stand in nothing but leather pants, as the rules of the Rites require. The atan determines the parameters of each Rite, according to our laws. However, the one rule that is always consistent is that you may not use anything but your own body to defeat your opponent. Hence being stripped of any opportunity to hide a weapon.

Eventually, Junq rises from his seat on a rock, and as he does, the crowd quiets. The tension and anticipation are so palpable I can nearly taste it. Everyone is eager to see this enactment of an ancient custom.

“Clansmen, greetings. May the Great Mother see you.” The crowd echoes with the words of the appropriate response, but I remain silent. “We gather today in triumph. After many seasons atoning to the Great Mother for great betrayals,” his eyes skim over me, “we have finally been given a blessing. The arrival of the human females is a harbinger of change for our clan. She has seen our penance and given us these females as gifts for the most worthy males.”

Cheers erupt from the crowd and Junq basks in the attention for a moment before continuing, “Today, many males will step forward to fight for our first gift.”

As he says this, it finally happens. My Sedona emerges from his hut and steals the air from the room. She is striking, dressed in the traditional wear of a Lieq mating ceremony. Her mane is worn down with intricate braids at the top of her head. Bone beads have been woven into the braids and she wears bone beads in a rope around her waist. She is clothed in a dress made of fine furs that follows the curve of her hips and sweeps the ground. They have even painted her face in the dotted pattern customary for a mating. Her eyes are trained on the ground and I wish she would look up.

My heart swells as I stare at her, and for a moment, I forget this entire thing. I forget where I am and I can only appreciate seeing my mate adorned for me. Ready to give herself to me. But the reverie is broken when Junq speaks again, and my fury is reignited when I remember that other males are leering at her, believing that they will be the ones she will give herself to.

“In keeping with our laws, I have determined the rules of the Rites today,” Junq announces self-importantly. “Every male who wishes to challenge for this female will fight in the pit at once. Two knees must hit the ground to be removed from the fight. The last male standing will have proven himself worthy of her.”

He has done it again. Found a way to put me at a disadvantage. With every male fighting at once, it is not hard to guess what will happen initially. I will be surrounded, targeted, and taken out. I grit my teeth together, the determination surging through me. My knees will hit this ground only if I am dead.

“All unmated males who wish to participate, step into the circle to be blessed for your Rites.”

My feet move automatically and I am the first in the circle, though not for long. Nine other males step forward, including Enikk. We make eye contact and I remember our vow to each other. Today, he will fight with me, and for this I will call him brother.

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