Page 5 of Wicked Ties
Words didn’t come easy anymore. Nothing did. How could I explain this? Explain the depth of the hole of darkness I now lived in? I wasn’t me. Somewhere along the line, I lost my self. And I didn’t know how to find it again.
“I know you—”
She took a step closer to me. “Just like I know you. You’re my sister.”
“But I don’t . . . I don’t feel a connection to anyone here.”
Her face fell, and that right there was why I didn’t want to say this. But she had to know. I moved back to sit on the bed. Astrid walked over and sat down beside me. “What do you mean?”
“I have all of her memories, but it was a different life. I know you both were like sisters. You did everything together. I know that. I do. But there is no emotional attachment to them for me. I feel nothing. I remember you, but I don’t . . . know you anymore. Or them. It’s an echo to me.”
She sat there for long moments, taking it in. “Do you feel anything?”
“Barely.” My thoughts turned to Maze. How only when he was near, did I get a glimmer of a feeling. “Once in a while. It’s like a piece of me is missing.”
“Do you want it back?” She paused, holding her breath, waiting for me.
“I-I think I do.” If memory served me well, I used to be happy. I used to be me . . . I used to be more than this.
She let the breath leave her in a rush, but she didn’t smile, didn’t try to touch me or pull me in for a hug. That was always something I used to like about Astrid— she knew when to not be too much. Maybe I would learn to like that again.
Astrid shifted on the bed to face me. “Listen, I’m new to this world, too. But we’ve got a whole table of magical people out there with thousands of years of experience and knowledge. Why don’t we ask one of them?”
“Why would any of them help me?” I stared at the closed door and listened to the symphony of happy voices. Did I belong there? Nope, not even for a minute. The old me thought so. The old me thought this was a new family to join.
Astrid scoffed. “First of all, that’s kind of what we do. Second, we’re all responsible for what happened to you.”
I shook my head. “You’re not. You barely survived that night.”
“I’m also the one who accidently summoned a demon, and then hid him in my bedroom as a one-eyed cat.” She motioned to the room. “I’m as much to blame as any of them.”
No. My memories of that night were vague, but I knew she wasn’t there, and she wasn’t responsible for this. For me. “No, I can’t blame you for this.”
A slight smile played on Astrid’s lips. “But I can blame myself.” She rose to her feet and motioned for me to follow her. “Let’s get you some food and some answers. You need to eat. You look like shit. And the old you loved Thanksgiving. You might not feel anything, but food always makes everything better.”
“So, eat my nonexistent feelings?” This I might understand—food was delicious.
“Exactly.” Astrid strolled to the door. “Come on.”
I followed her as we walked down the stairs that led into the main room. A large table was lined with plates and silverware. Steaming dishes of food were spread over the table, giving off the most amazing smells. Something sweet was in the oven, filling the air with hints of sugar and cinnamon. They all stopped what they were doing and looked up at me. Maze cleared his throat, getting my attention. When he pulled out the chair next to him, I hurried to his side and slid onto the soft cushioned seat. His cards flew from his pocket and swirled above his head. One card with a couple embracing on it flew at his face, and he swatted it away. “Yeah, yeah. I hear you.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I whispered.
“Not you.” He reached down and opened his pocket. “Them.”
The cards flew back into his pocket all at once, and he patted the cards as though silencing them. Neon green smoke lingered around his fingertips and arms. No one at the table even bothered to blink at him or look up when his magic emerged. Like this was all so normal. In reality, I suppose it was now my new normal, too. I didn’t fit in either world, not with the supernaturals, because I didn’t know what I was. And not with humans.
My distant memories turned to my family and their complete absence from my life. Did they even worry about me? Doubtful. I just didn’t belong. “Mr. Astoria, do you know where my parents are? I haven’t seen them since Labor Day.”
Astrid’s dad sat just a few seats down. He turned and faced me fully. The smile dropped from his face, and he turned serious. “Last I heard they were in Greece.”
Just because Astrid’s parents were around didn’t mean mine would be. The old me would’ve hurt for days over this. But I didn’t. “Okay, thanks.”
From what I remembered, they semi-cared about me. Kind of. I didn’t want them to worry. I knew what worry felt like from my memories. But I didn’t want them to worry about me.
I turned to Astrid. “Can I borrow your phone?”
Astrid dug into her pocket and handed me the phone. I quickly dialed and waited for an answer.
