Page 5 of Coming Home to Crumbleton

‘Nope, nope, nope!’ chanted Ruby as she took the next few steps at a jog. If only running away from her memories was quite so easy!

There wasn’t a handrail along this stretch, and the steps were flanked on either side by thick greenery. Trimmed shrubs created leafy walls - and she paused as something shiny caught her eye. Reaching out, Ruby plucked the strange item out of the hedge and snorted. Nothing changed! It was an ornate brass doorknob. Another couple of steps up, she found a bit of metal scrolling that looked like it had fallen off an antique bureau, and on the next step sat an ancient key.

Ruby bent down to retrieve it and turned it over in her fingers with a grin. She’d had a collection of bits and pieces like this on her bedroom windowsill as a kid – gathered over the years she’d climbed these steps almost every day. They’d always been a treasure trove of weird and wonderful finds… and for good reason.

Right at the very top of Crumbleton, on the crest of the hill, was the castle and a museum… and next door was an antique shop. Geraldine, the loud, chatty owner, knew exactly what she was doing when it came to re-stocking and deliveries. She navigated the steep hill in her van after midnight - like some kind of antiquarian night owl. After restocking the shop with finds from the local salerooms, she’d pile the van high with that week’s deliveries and then hotfoot it back out of town while everyone was still in bed.

The problem was every time she sold something to one of the tourists who’d travelled from further afield – they tended to want to take their purchases away with them there and then. This caused a logistical nightmare - especially if it was one of the larger pieces of furniture. Technically, you were allowed to drive up the hill for pick-ups and deliveries – but the narrow street only had one or two passing places. On a busy day, not even the most determined person could manage it - there simply wasn’t enough room. This left one option – the item had to be carried all the way down to the bottom.

Of course, no one in their right mind wanted to play dodgems with all the people wandering around, enjoying the sights while carrying a heavy piece of furniture over the uneven cobbles – so the various cut-throughs and steps saw more than their fair share of antiques. Being so narrow and difficult to navigate, they tended to end up with a liberal scattering of keys, knobs, hinges and brackets in the process.

In fact…

‘Uh oh!’ chuckled Ruby, pocketing the key as she spotted someone walking backwards down the steps towards her. Judging by his awkward gait and weird angle, it looked like he was carrying something seriously heavy.

Ruby knew she should get out of the way as quickly as possible before she got mown down - but something about the sight of the perfect, denim-clad behind reversing towards her seemed to have hit the pause button in her brain.

A second guy appeared around the bend, struggling with his own end of the heavy steamer trunk they were carrying between them. His eyes grew wide the minute he spotted her, clearly realising that a pile-up was imminent.

‘Wow!’ he shouted, yanking them both to an abrupt halt.

The sharp, warning cry made Ruby come out of her ogle-trance.

‘Sorry!’ she muttered, shaking her head. ‘I’ll back up!’

‘Either that or you could try crawling under?’ puffed the man, sounding exhausted but not unfriendly.

Ruby raised her eyebrows, but she only considered the suggestion for the briefest moment. The guy’s face was pink with exertion and he was sweating. As for Mr Prefect-Bum, he hadn’t even turned his head to glance in her direction. He was clearly having to use every ounce of his remaining energy to keep a grip on the giant trunk – and his arms were shaking.

‘I’ll get out of your way!’ she said. Turning quickly, she trotted back down the uneven steps as fast as her legs would carry her. She didn’t stop until she reached the bright little cobbled yard where she could take a step back towards the planters and squeeze out of their path when they finally caught up with her.

‘Cheers!’

Ruby started to shrug, but she froze mid-gesture.

That voice!

It had come from Mr Cute-Bottom. Ruby shivered as a blast from the past sent chills down her spine. She quickly looked down at her feet. She wasn’t sure if it was because she’d be horrified if it really was him… or disappointed if it wasn’t.

Ruby’s ears started to whistle, and she stared hard at the cobbles, waiting for them to squeeze past so that she could leg it up the rest of the steps and away from them as quickly as possible.

‘Love, are you okay?’

The concerned voice made her peep up at the second guy, who’d paused right in front of her.

‘Grand thanks!’ she said, forcing herself to look at him and not the other guy who was mere feet away from her. He was close enough that she could hear him breathing.

‘Okay… if you’re sure,’ he said. ‘You just look a bit… white? Like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘Thanks… I’m fine,’ she said again with a tight smile. ‘Long journey, that’s all. Looking forward to a cuppa.’

‘Straight to Crumbleton Café with you, then,’ he said. ‘There’s a cut-through to the high street a bit further up the steps.’

Ruby smiled and nodded. She knew exactly where Crumbleton Café was - of course she did, considering she’d worked there for years.

‘Can we get on with it, my fingers are going to drop off!’

The grumble made every hair on Ruby’s body stand on end as memories started to swirl around her, like she was trapped inside a snow globe of her past.

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