Page 90 of Ethan

Lance came back and thrashed us all. He was a man on fire. I suspected he was burning some aggression off. Seeing Ethan and me together had crawled under his skin.

My heart did a flip-flop.

My Ethan.

We needed to talk things through, but I respected his request for time to think and didn't phone him when I arrived home from the bowling alley.

It was the first time we hadn't communicated at night in almost six weeks.

Later, after a restless start to my night, my phone ringing pulled me out of a deep sleep. I checked the time. It was just past 5 am.

It was Ethan.

"Baby," I answered.

Ethan exhaled. "I'm sorry for waking you, but I can't get my head in the game to bake this morning. You were right. We need to talk."

My heart rate quickened to a frightening pace. "Are you going to break up with me?"

"Daniel … I'm not sure what we're doing. Why we're together."

"Because we're great together. I love spending time with you."

There was a slice too long of silence.

Ethan sighed. "Me too … but I've been doing some thinking."

Please, no.

"You are breaking up with me."

"No, I just need us to take a break."

I scrubbed my hand through my hair. This couldn't be happening.

"Is it because of our ages?"

"I don't know what our future is going to look like. For either of us."

I was right. He didn't want to tie himself to an old man. Maybe a different kind of relationship was the answer. He could be my partner but spend time with younger men too. "What if we were to have an open relationship? Would that make a difference?"

Ethan barked out a choked laugh. "I'm sorry … what? You think I want to fuck other men?"

"You wouldn't have to give up men your own age for my sake."

"Fuck you, Daniel! Fuck! You!"

He ended the call. I tried phoning back, but he wouldn't answer. I'd fucked up. When I was fighting to keep him was the wrong time to have a conversation like that.

I texted I'm sorry then threw my phone across the bed.

I knew he wouldn't answer me.

Blinking up at the ceiling, tears streaked down my cheeks. I loved Ethan and I'd misjudged his needs. Now, there was little chance he'd forgive me and return to my arms. I should have told him I was in love with him instead of throwing that grenade into the water of our relationship.

What we had together was so much more than sex. And yet, I'd devalued our passion for one another to that. I'd cheapened Ethan's affection for me. He was a deeper man than that.

I knew that about him.

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