Page 134 of The Sidekick

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” I blurt out and cringe. Too honest, Tera.

“What about me?” He presses gently, but his tone has lowered in a way that makes my body warm.

“I was actually just thinking I wouldn’t see you again.”

Splat goes that feeling. What is wrong with me?

“Why?” The question comes out sharp, and I sigh.

“You’re too perfect,” I say thoughtfully.

“I’m really not,” he assures me with a little laugh.

I move on to my next logical thought. “Then you’re luring me in because you’re a serial killer.”

“No!” His laughter comes back, and there’s a shuffling sound as if he had to take the phone away from his face. “No booty calls or serial killers.”

“That’s a relief.” You never know. Why I believe him, I don’t know, but I do.

When his laughter dies down, he says, “What else are you thinking? I’m really curious now.”

“I think I messed up,” the words fall out of my mouth, and I gape in horrified surprise. Too honest! Why does this stuff keep happening around him? He’s like a truth magnet.

“You regret it,” his voice goes soft and strained. I start shaking my head quickly, even though he can’t see me.

“I can’t regret it. It was beautiful.”

Idiot, it was a public bathroom hookup, not a flower petals on the bed love scene.

Because I can’t stop my mouth around him, I add, “I just feel like my one selfish act will hurt a lot of people.”

“You aren’t the only selfish person here. I should have waited for you to be ready-”

“I was more than ready,” I cut in and wince at that humiliating truth. I begged.

“Angel,” he says in a warning tone that shuts my mouth. If only he had said that at the beginning, I wouldn’t be burning up with embarrassment right now. “Don’t make excuses for me. I should have waited before getting physical. I don’t want you to think that’s all I’m here for. We should have talked.”

This. This has been what I’ve needed. A person who can give me clear-cut rules to follow so I don’t make a mess of everything.

“Please talk to me now,” I chew my lip nervously. “I don’t want to walk on a tightrope anymore.”

“Me either,” he lets out a frustrated breath, and there’s a silence over the line.

“Asher?” I break in nervously.

“Yeah?”

“Can you step off the tightrope first? I feel like one of us should be there to catch the other, and I’m scared to be first. I have weak arms.” I add the last sentence in the hopes it would be funny, but my voice trembles when I say it.

“Ok,” he lets out a deep breath as if he’s bracing himself. “I’d rather tell you in person, but you’re in a safe space right now.”

“I’m at home,” I glance around in confusion.

“I’m going to say something, and it’s going to make you want to run. I’m asking you not to do that. Not demanding, I’m asking. Please. Can you do that for me?”

I sit back up with a frown. I don’t think I want to make that promise. My body is beginning to tense up, and it reminds me of how I felt when the doctor told me Joe didn’t make it. My mind hasn’t caught up to the danger, but my spirit is already wilting.

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