Page 175 of The Sidekick

“I think it’s safe to say we were raised very differently, angel. The things he followed you into were basically harmless. The things I was doing would have gotten them hurt badly. You aren’t a horrible person for messing up. You’re a human being. Those assholes should be ashamed of themselves.”

My eyes widen at his vehemence. I rub his bicep to try and calm him down a little. “It was a while ago, Asher. It doesn’t matter.”

His eyes narrow on my expression, “It matters to me. I don’t like that this happened to you and I wasn’t there to protect you from it.”

A sharp pain stabs into my chest as I lose my breath. My hand goes to his cheek to stroke. His eyes close at the motion. He starts talking as if I asked him the same questions he did to me. Like he owes me answers after I told him some of my history.

“Nobody had any idea that he was abusing me. He had me convinced that they all knew and didn’t care. When Maman found out, she beat him within an inch of his life with a rolling pin, packed us up, and left him. She didn’t even hesitate.”

“Wow,” I breathe in wonder. “Your mom sounds amazing.”

“She is,” his eyes open. The affection reflected there makes me smile. “It took me a long time to realize she wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me again. She tried to get me into therapy, but it didn’t take. I was a real shit until she married a damn cop. After that, it was ‘get your act together’ but never in a cruel way. I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“Did you fold?” I tease, and his eyes narrow on me.

“Yes I did, smartass. He’s a good man. Someone to respect.” He sounds so defensive it makes giggles start up.

“So are you,” I say and he gives me a flat look. I cuddle closer, hiding my face in his chest so I can laugh without him glaring at me.

“If you had any idea half the shit I think when I’m near you, you would disagree,” He grumbles but holds me tighter.

I give him an unconcerned hum of sound, and he huffs in frustration.

“Can I ask you a harder question, angel?”

“I guess,” I pretend to whine. One of his hands slides down to tap my butt in warning. It isn’t as effective as he thinks it is, but I can pretend, right?

“Why did you leave just now?”

I feel my Shade mask immediately slip over my face as it flattens out. It’s becoming a habit. I love it as much as I hate it. “I’ve been through this situation before. I figured I would be the jerk this time instead. I kind of sucked at it, though.”

“What situation?”

“The ‘I want to comfort you and don’t know what to say, and I don’t know how to fix it’ situation. I didn’t want to get yelled at again.”

“Who did that?” His jaw clenches, and the words come from between gritted teeth.

“Satan.” I really need to stop calling him that.

“Will you tell me what happened?” Why does he sound so grim?

I’m not sure if I want to tell him. I don’t want to relive this. It was hard enough going over it with Dr. Robinson. It’s still too fresh in my mind. Being told how worthless you are is embarrassing. Plus, I just had a flashback of the whole thing an hour ago. His fingers clasp my neck and flex at my silence, and my lips thin. How do I start this?

“Uh… we, um. Huh.” I frown as I stumble to a halt. How do I tell him without telling him everything?

“Max said you guys were all fooling around together and he left the room. By the time he got back, you were gone.”

My eyes widen in shock and I draw my head back to stare at him. “He told you all of that? Oh my gosh! He really has no shame.”

“And you apparently didn’t get an orgasm out of that interaction, so I’m not feeling very charitable about them right now,” his teeth grind as he speaks. It makes him a little hard to understand. “You guys messed around in the office and…”

When he trails off, I find it easier to fill in the blanks. “Trevor started acting really grumpy and Max asked if he was ok. He said he was, but he was rubbing his leg like it hurt. Max left to get him some medicine that would help. I asked what was wrong, and he said he had pins in his leg and the cold bothers him sometimes. He looked really hurt. I freaked out, grabbed the blanket we had, and threw it over his lap.”

My lips tighten as I remember the look on his face after I had done it. Filled with rage and disgust. The pain of his words runs through me again as if he said them five minutes ago. My stomach starts to churn angrily.

“Then what happened, angel? Eyes up.”

My eyes snap back to his as I turn from eyeing the hallway to the bathroom. His expression has changed into a strained version of the comforting smile I know and I chew my lip.

---