Page 28 of Daddy's Little Librarian
Before I make you walk the plank,
‘Cuz manners make a first class little matey!”
“You’re not dancing,” Captain Tommy called to him when Kurt paused to check the next lyrics.
In Mermaid Lagoon, Scotti had stopped coloring. She was standing up in her booth to see over the Cove’s fake rock privacy wall, her wide and delighted gaze fixed on him singing this ridiculous song to all these sugar-high washing machines.
“Dance or walk the plank!” Captain Tommy bellowed in his ‘arrrr-iest’ pirate imitation, much to the kids—and Scotti’s—delight.
“Oh, for fu—” Kurt sighed. He also made himself smile so he wouldn’t scare anyone and danced, shuffling his feet and wiggling his hips and feeling like an absolute idiot in the middle of twenty-two ecstatic Pirate Pete wannabes.
“I’ve got a pirate bag,
For all my pirate swag,
And an eyepatch, and a parrot, and a peg leg.
And we get lots and lots of booty,
But we always share the looty,
‘Cuz we’re all a bunch of friendly, happy mateys!”
“Smile!” Captain Tommy cheerfully bellowed. Kurt smiled harder, feeling like an even bigger fool, but Tommy cheered him on anyway. “Now you’re getting into the spirit of it!”
“Oh yo ho ho!
I’m four years old,
and I’m getting to be a grown-up little matey!
Yo ho ho,
Next year I’m told,
Then I’ll be a grown up
With my Jolly Roger sewn up
Oh yes, then I’ll be a grown up little matey!”
Although it wasn’t in the script, Kurt put an impromptu stomp and ‘ta-dah’ wave of his arms on the end of the dance before abruptly dropping both smile and arms and trudging himself back out of Birthday Cove. Behind him, everybody erupted into cheers as Captain Tommy fired the birthday cannon, shooting a spray of glitter and confetti everywhere. Like the French fry machine, that was just one more piece of Pirate Pete equipment that he was too green and wet behind the ears to operate.
All Kurt wanted now was a chance to retire back into the breakroom long enough to gather together what tattered shreds remained of his manly pride, but Scotti’s yell stopped him in his tracks.
“Captain Tommy! Oh, Captain Tommy!”
Kurt turned, his ‘don’t you freakin’ do it’ glare completely wasted on Scotti’s thoroughly triggered Little.
“It’s my birthday, too!” she cried out, much to the laughter of the few adults scattered throughout Mermaid Lagoon, eating late lunches or early suppers.
Kurt glared. The birthday party children cheered and instantly fled the Cove to mob her table, thrilled that they would be treated to an encore performance. Without the slightest embarrassment, Scotti hopped down to join them. Laughing, her blue eyes sparkling, she unashamedly threw herself into the pirate dance, flapping her arms and shuffling her feet with the best of them, and Captain Tommy gave him an expectant look.
“Well?” he said. “Hop to it, Birthday Boson. And this time I want to see you dancing and smiling.”
He’d almost rather be unemployed.
Almost.
