Page 202 of Daddy, Take Me Away
“It sounds perfect. Thank you.”
The castle itself was massive, but only three parts were open to the public. One held the crown jewels and portraits of Mary, Queen of Scots and James the VI of Scotland and I of England, respectively.
The Stone of Scone was encased behind a huge glass barrier, along with the crowned jewels, which were incredible. I would have gawked longer, but there was quite the line of tourists who were expected to keep moving. That section of the castle had its own gift shop and Artair bought me freshwater pearl bracelets in every color they had to make up for the one that broke at the airport when I lifted my pack on my back to hurry to board the plane.
We saved the dungeon for last, but once we wound our way around to the bowels of the castle, I didn’t want to go in. It felt all wrong and reeked of despair. Can a place still reek of despair even though it hadn’t been a prison in over a hundred years? I didn’t know but the little hairs on my arms rose, while Artair seemed completely unbothered.
“I’ll stay here while you go in. The place has creepy vibes.”
It wasn’t until an hour later when I heard him say, “I told you so,” that I realized I’d wandered off along the outer bailey wall.
“Crap!”
Artair laughed, then his mien grew serious. “I thought I was clear that until your stalker has been picked up, you are not to wander off?”
“I’m sorry. I was just lost in thought and wasn’t aware I’d even moved from the bench.”
He pressed me against the cold stone of the wall. “Do you want me to treat you like a child? Do I have to put a wrist cuff on you, attached to a leash that I control, tugging you along with me? Do you need me to spank you in public like a naughty child to get you to understand how deadly serious I am? When I give you an order, it is for what reason, Luna?”
“My safety?”
“That’s right. You’ve disappointed me, but I’m far from surprised. Come, it’s time to go home.”
“But the witchy restaurant?”
“Now that you have lost the bet, you’ll have to earn a trip to the restaurant.”
I felt a full tantrum coming on right on the heels of my anger. “I’m going to the restaurant, and you can’t stop me.”
“Are you calling your safeword?”
That brought me up short. Was I? We’d discussed this several times. My safeword was my way out. But not in the way it had been originally intended, which had been set for our time together. Yes, I’d given him permission to be my tour guide and more while I was here, a Daddy in every aspect of the word, but since the attack at Dunnottar, the intention of that safeword had increased and become more about safety than giving him the green light to do what he wished with my body during sex.
I’d agreed that if I wanted out, he’d have his private jet fly me wherever I wanted to go. Otherwise, I agreed to his protection and how he wished to instill it.
“If you are, then Graeme can drive you to the castle where you can gather your things and prepare for your flight, otherwise, you will leave with me now, your choice.”
“I hate you!” I stomped my foot in the grass just as people passed by us on the wall. I closed my eyes willing all the pressure to go away when I felt his hand gently caress my cheek.
“Come on, my little flight risk. Let’s go home, I think you’ve been overstimulated enough for one day.”
Is that what caused me to lose my shit, being overstimulated? It would have been nice to know that the night I’d tried to kill myself. Maybe I wouldn’t have, if I’d known that the despair I’d felt wasn’t long-lasting, but merely a reaction to severe circumstances. Why hadn’t the therapists told me?
Artair leaned down and kissed me full on the lips. His hand gently squeezed my nape and I wrapped my arms around him and hung on like my life depended on it, cause in that moment, it really felt like it did. When he pulled away, I had to ask how he knew what professionals had missed.
“Luna, you have a very sensitive nature, and I watch you all the time. You’re either unconsciously trying to protect yourself or jumping all in with no resistance. That speaks volumes to me about where you are in your head. Remember, I’m a lawyer and have dealt with liars, sociopaths and the like. You, my dear, are like fresh air in a world filled with things a whole lot worse than a kindhearted young woman guarding her heart.”
I ran that over in my mind on the drive back to the castle. He was right about his observation, and I found relief in knowing I was seen and accepted for who I was. Seeing me through his eyes offered the opportunity to not judge myself so harshly, and I was grateful for that. No way in hell was I going to tell him though!
Back at the castle, we had dinner first because by the time we arrived, we were both starving. With my looming punishment, it was hard to eat, despite my hunger. He’d told me I would run, and I did, but I’d honestly been very unaware of it. I’d zoned out and it was suddenly important that I know why I did that and how to stop it from happening.
This was separate in my mind from my childish reaction earlier, the wandering off and being unaware could be a problem. I hadn’t always been like that, but ever since that toe-shoe incident with that client, I’d not been the same.
“You may be experiencing PTSD, if that’s your question.”
“Huh?” I’d been so busy thinking about the wandering and deciding how to ask him and here he was reading my mind again. “PTSD? That sounds a little severe, doesn’t it? I’m young and shit happens; what on earth makes you think I may have something so serious?”
His eyes hardened slightly, meaning whatever he was about to share, he wanted me to get it loud and clear.
