Page 130 of Unexpected Heroine

Even in her sleep, her fear persists.

I stop typing and brush the hair back from her face.

For a long time, I watch her sleep, blissfully content, soaking up the simple joy of her presence. As hopeful as I may be that her love for me will be able to weather the looming turmoil, I’m acutely aware I’m always one misstep away from losing her. A single slipup about her father or another revelation about how fucked-up I am could be the tipping point.

After tucking her hair behind her ear, I draw the backs of my knuckles over her cheek. A sense of awe fills me, making my chest tighten. I sweep my gaze down her nude frame, basking in how ethereal she looks entangled with my gray sheets. Such a striking contrast to her fair skin.

The marks those monsters gave her are fading. Some scars will remain.

Yet she’ll always be perfect in my eyes.

Once we passed out in satiated bliss from our morning activities—as unexpected as they were pleasurable—I napped for about an hour before the insistent need for justice woke me. I cleaned us up, got dressed, and then returned here to work.

Our house guests will probably wake up soon. With everyone else sleeping, I figure it’s a good time to check up on shit at Redleg and hunt down trafficking scum.

Klein and I exchanged a few messages this morning. He and Mia are still uncertain who hacked her security system on the night of Lettie’s rescue. With enemies capable of something that tricky, I’m even more relieved about the rotation of Redleg guards around here.

Idly, I wonder if Leo, Sawyer, and Shep felt this way when the Redleg contingent rallied to protect their partners. I didn’t think I’d ever be on this side of the arrangement.

It’s . . . unsettling. Yet no less powerful.

My remorse over not being there for my team is festering, burrowing into my stomach. It hits me hardest at times like these—when the house is quiet and Lettie is resting.

I haven’t been away from my Redleg peers since its inception. No vacation. No sick days except when my appendix ruptured. Even when I’m physically out of the office, I’m on-call, often working remotely. I take the odd day off but rarely go more than a few hours without working on something.

For years.

It’s probably unhealthy to work so much. Yet it’s all I’ve known.

Without question, Lettie is the most important part of my life, and I will not abandon her when she needs me. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t conflicted about not being there for my coworkers.

Big Al, especially.

Those men and women have kept me going for a long time. Redleg’s the only place where I’ve felt needed. Truly needed. Valuable.

Worthy.

If Bask is where I go to feel normal, Redleg is where I go to find purpose.

At least it was that way until Violet fluttered into my life and made me want more. Not only to get more out of life but to be more.

And to love, experiencing love in return.

She became my purpose.

No matter how uncomfortable it feels to take a step back from Redleg, nothing could hurt worse than not being here for Lettie.

Glancing down at her, I find myself drawn to touch her again. Afraid to wake her, I resist the urge. She looks so peaceful.

During her interview with the detectives, she revealed how terrifying it was to sleep at that fucking house. Exhausted and longing for respite while dreading the nightmares that would surely come once she surrendered to the tug of night. Equally fearful of how she’d be awakened.

Her description drove a familiar blade straight into my chest.

Without knowing it, she gave words to some of my earliest memories in life.

As if sensing how much I need a distraction, Lettie sighs and adjusts her position, shimmying nearer to me.

I relish the closeness.

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