Page 144 of Unexpected Heroine

When the door clicks shut, he finally finds the gumption to meet my gaze, taking one step toward me. “Lettie, I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was only looking out for you. I tried to protect you. And him.”

“What do you mean? Seriously, how on earth can lying to me for a year be for my own good?”

For once, my thoughts are steady. All I want is an explanation. Whatever it is.

Then I’ll go.

On the flip side, if his words are any indication, his thoughts are a jumbled and chaotic mess. “I tried to resist you. I did. I swear. You needed help, so I intervened. As for him. Fuck. I hid it because I didn’t think he could handle it. Not then. It was never a good time. So I protected him. Kept the secret.” His tears crest and spill down his cheeks. “I-I-I-and maybe... I didn’t want him to know. Maybe I was afraid.”

His frenzied rambling hits me right in the tattered remains of my heart.

My hand reaches for him, but I make a fist and force it back to my side. “What were you afraid of?”

“Of losing him. And then it was the same with you. I didn’t want to lose you. You two are the only people who...” Closing his eyes, he takes a step back. Then another. “He was there. He saw me. He knew what he did to me. To her.” Brimming with manic energy, he shakes his head and keeps rambling, never finishing a single sentence. “You showed up. Your voice. And then I saw you that time. Crying and sad. You were hungry. Alone. And I couldn’t let that happen to you. That’s how I felt most of my life. Didn’t want that for you. Couldn’t stand to see you like that. You’re the sunshine. And I was so cold. Freezing until you.”

“Babe, stop. You’re losing me. I can’t follow.”

No clue what he’s talking about. Not at all. But it’s decimating my already broken heart.

He curves his fingers, hands splayed out in front of him. “Lettie. I’m fucking trying to explain. There’s just so much I’ve been holding back. Sugar, don’t give up on me. Please don’t. You promised.” He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes and bends at the waist, sucking in craggy waves of air.

Dropping to his knees in front of me, he grabs hold of my legs. “You said you wouldn’t leave me. When I do the wrong things. Say the wrong things. I tried to be better for you.”

Watching him in such despair is too much. I can’t take it. I can’t. Witnessing his pain on top of my own is robbing me of oxygen.

I take three steps backward, removing myself from his slight hold on my legs.

The agony rips me open and empties me, leaving me barren. The edges of the cuts are raw and frayed.

My knees wobble and give out. I slide to the floor, melting into a pile of broken pieces. A strangled cry gets clogged in my throat, and I claw at my neck to get it out.

He crawls over to me.

And fuck I want him to hold me. Even though it’s him who’s wounded me, he’s the only one who could heal this pain.

He cups my cheeks and tilts my head to face him. I can barely see him through the deluge of fresh tears in my eyes.

“Lettie baby, look at me. We agreed not to give up on each other. Remember that night? When I couldn’t take it anymore. And I came for you. Because you were hurting. You needed me. I’ve always needed you. Remember what you promised? Sugar bear, I don’t want to live without you. Don’t go unless you take me with you. I will leave everything behind for you. I’ll give it all up. I’ll walk away from Redleg. For you. We can move. Go away. Forget all of this. Start over. No lies this time. Please, baby, please.” He winces and chokes out, “I love you so fucking much it hurts. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I’m nothing without you. Lettie, I love you.”

His pleading, coupled with the tears running down his red, puffy face, come dangerously close to eroding my resolve.

He almost had me. Oh, I was so close to caving.

Until he added those three fucking words.

How dare he?

Chapter 25

No more I love yous

TOMER

After swatting my hands off her cheeks, she bolts to her feet. “No. You don’t get to say that now. Not after what I went through. Not after what you did to me. Too little and too damn late. I don’t want your bullshit I love yous.”

By the time she’s done eviscerating me, I’ve joined her on shaky legs, only for her words to smack me a step backward.

I knew I’d lose her over this.

---