Page 164 of Unexpected Heroine

“Bunch of pricks,” I toss flatly.

So far, my mantra has been to pipe in occasionally so they don’t realize how upset I really am. How empty I feel inside. Hollow.

Broken.

“Right? Enough is enough. They should be ashamed of themselves for giving everyone the shaft,” Freya jokes between hiccups while twirling her sucker in the air.

I click my tongue at her, squinting one eye and doing the finger gun thing. “Ha. Shaft. Good one.”

Stella piles onto the pun-tastrophy. “Waving their wangs around like magic wands. Bah. Be gone, Peter, Johnson, and Willie.” She flicks her hand through the empty air. “You have no power here.”

They break out in raucous laughter, clearly amusing themselves.

Good for them, the scorned woman thought bitterly.

Maybe it makes me a stick-in-the-mud, but I don’t want to laugh at this kind of shit anymore. My sad sap heart aches for Tomer as much as it aches for me. Every few minutes, I relive how gutted he looked when he realized I was leaving and all the begging in the world wouldn’t make me stay. I hated hurting him, but there was no other choice.

I had to go. I knew it was going to destroy him. But what else could I do?

Nonetheless, hurting him hurts me.

And I know he felt the same about the pain he caused me. Not just yesterday. But for the last year. I could feel his grief and regret. It was stifling.

That’s not a cocky, asshole man who is out running amuck in the world waving his wang around.

He’s a wounded man.

There’s nothing funny about that.

And he’s worth my tears.

I hide my non-smile behind my water bottle. After taking a sip, I screw the cap back on tightly and set the bottle between my knees under the table. Nice and safe.

“Speaking of waving their wangs, I saw this porno once where—” Freya cuts herself off with a snort-laugh, then continues. “It was two dudes standing up, face to face. And I shit you not, they were smacking their dicks together. Hands-free, they were waving them back and forth like a cock saber battle. Had to be the unsexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

This time, I laugh along with them. That’s daggum hilarious. “Please tell me they added the light saber sounds to the video.”

“Nope.” Freya chuckles into her wineglass. “Talk about a missed opportunity.”

“Men are the fucking worst, I swear,” Stella says with a soft sigh.

Oh crud. Here we go again.

“That’s why God invented vibrators,” Freya yells a bit too loudly.

Forget beer goggles. Wine earmuffs are the danger we should fear.

Stella lifts her glass in Freya’s direction. “Viva la strap-ons!”

They clink glasses, their eyes twinkling at each other. I smell a love connection.

That makes me smile, unlike all the dick-bashing. Not to be confused with dick stroking, which I won’t be doing ever again.

Unfortunately, the joy I feel over whatever attraction could be brewing between my friends doesn’t last long. Almost immediately, my mood sours with something that smells like jealousy.

Wonderful.

I must be a joy to be around.

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