Page 216 of Unexpected Heroine

Your flirting game has improved substantially since we broke up.

Me:

I don’t have any of my go-to moves to seduce you since you won’t see me. So I have to try new things. Broaden my horizons.

Sugar Bear:

Are you really trying to get me back? Or is this just a post-break-up loneliness thing?

Me:

The fact that you even have to ask that tells me I didn’t do a good enough job showing you how fucking perfect I think you are for the last year. I will never stop trying to get you back. And when I do, you’ll never doubt for a second how much you’re loved.

Sugar Bear:

Stop it.

Me:

I will never stop.

Sugar Bear:

You want me to give you another chance?

Me:

More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.

Sugar Bear:

Go see a wily therapist of your own to figure out why you thought it was okay to lie to me for a solid year. Come back and tell me once you figure it out. Depending on the answer, we’ll see.

Me:

I never thought it was okay.

Sugar Bear:

And yet you did it anyway.

Me:

I’ve earned the voodoo doll. Make it painful, sugar.

Sugar Bear:

See you at 8pm. Well, actually I won’t see you. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Me:

You really want me to watch you, don’t you? This isn’t a joke?

Sugar Bear:

For someone with such a high IQ, you often have the emotional intelligence of a lava lamp. Nice to look at. Not all that bright.

Me:

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