Page 227 of Unexpected Heroine

“Well, that’s heartbreaking.” Lowering my forehead, I reduce my volume. “Most women don’t?”

“Correct. But it doesn’t stop them from having rich, fulfilling, and satisfying sex lives with their partners. Penetrative sex without climax can still be a pleasurable experience. The closeness we feel with our partner. The joy you get from bringing them pleasure. The quality time. The physical touch. The kissing and general intimacy. All of those are enjoyable.”

General intimacy, reporting for duty.

But also... did she say enjoyable? I guess. In the same delightful way someone would enjoy driving all day, but the GPS keeps adding time, and you never reach your destination. Or a sneeze that tickles your nose but never comes to fruition.

“And there’s always foreplay,” she tosses.

“That’s true.”

Foreplay. The consolation prize of sexual fulfillment.

I kid, I kid.

I quite enjoyed all the foreplay with Tomer. He’s abundantly skilled in that area. In most areas, truthfully. Except the whole honesty thing. Still struggling there.

“Look, I’m only saying if you don’t get this particular issue resolved right away or never get that ability back, it’s not the end of the world. You can still orgasm from external stimulation before or after penetration. That said, it’s highly unlikely this is a permanent situation. If you could do it before, you’ll probably be able to do it again. Okay? No doom spiraling in that head of yours.”

“Um, excuse me. Have we met? Mental doom spiraling is my favorite hobby,” I quip.

Shaking her head at my avoidant humor, she glances at her watch. “We’re at the halfway point for this session. You’ve got a lot to process on this topic so far. I’ll send you some links to literature on this tonight before I leave. You can read those, and we’ll circle back in a few days. Let’s talk about this nail-biting.”

Did she just give me homework? Gross.

But fine. Sooner I fix myself, the sooner I can get on with life.

My hand shoots up like I’m in class with a pressing need for a restroom hall pass.

She bites back a laugh, her tiny shoulders shaking. “Yes?”

“Can I change the topic for the second half of the session?”

“Sure.”

“You’re so good to me, Simone. You should give yourself a gold star,” I jest, placing my hand on my chest over my heart and batting my lashes at her.

She narrows her eyes to slits. “Are you buttering me up for something?”

“Remember yesterday when we discussed my father?” I don’t wait for her answer because I’m far too eager to get her on board with my plan. “Well, I’m ready to see him. Like immediately. I’m planning to ask Tomer if he will arrange a meeting for tomorrow or the next day.”

This surprises her, judging by her head rearing back and her dead-eyed expression. She quickly recovers. “Well, I won’t stop you from doing something your heart’s set on. However, I’d like to remind you of what we discussed yesterday. Wasn’t it you who said it was good to simplify your life before overcomplicating it again with more stressors? What’s with the sudden rush?”

“We did agree to that yesterday, but I’m impulsive by nature and prone to flights of fancy. It’s high time you find this out about me.”

Her eyes bulge.

I smile, shaking off my failed joke. “Kidding. Here’s the thing. It’s not like I’m in a frantic rush to tackle everything at once. However, I gotta start somewhere, and this is the problem I need to work on first. Meeting my father. It’s risen to the top of the dung pile.”

Simone grins. “Dung pile?”

“All the shit I need to fix. It’s stacking up inside my psyche. A mountain of absolute crap that’s happened to me. That’s where that whole shit happens phrase came from, right? So the shit is there. It’s happened. The only way to fix my life is to cross over this mountain. Only my feet keep sinking with the first step I take because it hasn’t firmed up yet. It’s like quicksand, but smellier and more prone to staining your shoes.”

Pausing, I drag my palm across my forehead. “Sorry. I need to stop with the poop analogies. It’s getting distracting.”

Simone’s smirk is legendary. Never would have expected that. The way the arch of her brow matches the curve of her upper lip earns five shiny, sparkling gold stars. “Please do.”

Through a steadying breath, I attempt to organize my thoughts.

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