Returning to the floor, I keep my eyes on the door.
“To quote one of Alan’s favorite phrases,” she begins, grinning down at me. “You really fucked this shit up like a football bat on a soccer court, didn’t you?”
I bark out a laugh at her unexpected ribbing.
Another one escapes when she adds, “Where do you keep the wine or whiskey in this place? This damn day calls for a drink.”
Chapter 47
Super mess
LETTIE
Do I talk first, or does he? What’s the procedure here?
It’s his office, so it seems he should go first. However, I was the one who barged in here like I was in a big dick contest with a rhino-sized strap-on. So maybe I should.
Clearing my throat, I jump right in. “Let me start?—”
At precisely the same time, he says, “I guess we?—”
Since I have a PhD in making shit awkward from the illustrious Foot in Mouth University, I know how to handle this.
“Go ahead,” we both say at the same time.
The corner of his lip twitches while I break out in a wide grin.
“You first,” I rush out, then zip my lips with my fingertips.
He motions toward the couch. “Wanna sit down?”
I draw my fingers in the other direction, unzipping my mouth. “Sure. Thank you.”
This time, a fuller smile lights up his face, barely visible under his beard. While walking over to the sofa, I study his profile a bit. He looks... tired. Worn out. Makes sense after what happened last night.
Naturally, this is the day I decided to pull up my big girl panties and confront him. Like everything in my life, it’s a disaster from the get-go.
Aside from Tomer, this is my first time alone with another man since the nightmare. Shockingly, I’m not scared. Not even uneasy. He’s comforting in his firmness.
We sit on opposite ends of the sofa, tense silence stretching between us like a tightrope. Air passes my lips in a slight whistle. He’s not rejecting me, but it’s clear he has no idea what to make of me and this mess. Fair.
I’ve had longer to process this news.
Embracing the new confident Lettie Holt, I take the reins. “Listen, I don’t know how any of this works. Seems important to let you know I’m not here for money or whatnot, and I have no expectations for what happens next.” I raise my palms out, facing him. “I didn’t come to cause trouble.”
His jaw drops, his lips moving silently before he finds the words, “I wasn’t thinking you did.”
“That’s good to hear.” My hands flop to my lap. “Clearly, I caused some, which is unfortunate, but totally on brand for me. Not to tip my hand, but I’m like a mess with a giant S on my chest. If ya catch my meaning.”
Oh my gosh. Did I just admit to being a super mess in the first minute of talking to him? And did I do it via lyrics from an AJR song? Not to mention it was a totally unnecessary description if he’s paid attention to a single thing I’ve done since meeting him.
There’s a strained quality to his returning laugh.
“Before we get into whatever we’re going to talk about, I need to apologize for how I busted in here today. Talk about a fine how do ya do.” A cringe rolls through me at the memory. “Honestly, I’m so dang sorry. First off, I thought it was your office, not a conference room full of people. And I swear I didn’t know the threat was real or what happened to your wife. Getting shot and all that. Tomer put the place where I’m staying on lockdown, and I thought it was to keep me away from you since last night I asked him to set up a meeting. It was dumb of me to think that he’d do that, but in my defense, I’m impulsive on a good day, and after what happened to me recently, I’m a straight-up disaster.” I let my head fall into my hands. “This is mortifying.”
“It’s okay, Lettie.” His voice is deep and rich. “He told me he’s been untruthful with you, so it’s not surprising you didn’t believe him.” He waves his open hand toward the wall in the direction of the conference room. “And don’t worry about what those fuckfaces think.” His eyes shoot wide. “Sorry. Don’t worry about whatever the humans who work for me saw.”
A laugh escapes me. “It’s okay. You can cuss. I’m twenty-five, not five.”