Page 292 of Unexpected Heroine

Let’s be real. The entire first half of this conversation was drenched with insensitivity.

Her head tips to the side, and she hits me with a playful glare.

“Sorry. Kidding. Sort of.” I fight off a giggle. “What was it?”

“I mean, it’s one thing to think someone was forced into that hell by some mystical higher power to save us. It’s another to say it out loud to said person.” She gestures toward me. “I’m sorry. It was an incredibly selfish comment, and it discounts what you endured. Your suffering isn’t about us any more than mine is about you. I should have kept that thought to myself.”

“That’s okay, Sabrina. I didn’t take it that way. It’s sweet of Tina and you to think that.”

A wide grin spreads her cheeks and thins her lips. “Precisely what an angel would say.”

Leaning back in my chair, my eyes roll so sharply that my head goes along with it. “Great. Another nickname. First, butterfly, and now angel.”

“Butterfly?” Her eyes draw in tight, then spring wide again. “Oh that’s right. The song.”

She sits thoughtfully for a moment, then a deep laugh erupts from her chest.

“What’s so funny?”

“Why don’t you look up the symbolism of butterflies and angels when I leave?”

My eyes fall to my phone on the other side of the room, and impatience has me lurching to my feet. Sabrina rises too, but she edges toward the door while I head to get my answer delivery system.

“Later, butterfly.”

“Wait.” Abandoning my search for knowledge temporarily, I stride over to her. “Give me a hug.”

Grinning, she obliges. I rub her back in long strokes, holding her tight to me. This poor girl and all she’s been through.

She breaks the hug and reaches for the door, glancing over her shoulder at me. A hint of concern dances behind her eyes. “Oh, so about your boyfriend.” She scratches the back of her head. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for him to come for a while. He’s a big reminder of that horrible place. And although he saved us, um... he’s a man, and he saw us there. At our worst. And it’s hard for some of us to?—”

I cut her off, pain once again squeezing my heart in a vise. “It’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks, butterfly,” she whispers before she departs.

With my back to the closed door, I shut my eyes and fight off the onslaught of sadness piercing through me. What she said about how the other girls were treated when they got home sails through my psyche. I was so dang lucky with Tomer.

As much as I want to protect the girls, not seeing him for long stretches of time doesn’t sit right.

He’s my person.

A deep longing stirs inside me, tightening around my torso like a chest harness. The ones Tomer would make for me out of soft rope. That soothing pressure was so comforting once. Now it’s different. The idea of being restrained is uncomfortable at best. Terrifying at worst.

Despite being here less than a week, perhaps it’s time to go. Obviously, keeping with the regular therapy. I wonder if Simone could do some sessions virtually so I don’t have to come here every day. Especially considering the shit with the Russians.

I grab my phone to message Tomer. No sense in getting my hopes up if he wants me to stay here.

Me:

Can we talk about my living arrangements?

I hope he says yes. Not because I’m scared to be alone or dependent on him. And only a little bit because I hate the idea of him showing up here upsetting the girls. Yet going without seeing him for long periods isn’t an option.

At the heart of it all, I simply want to be with him. I love him.

While waiting for his reply, I pull up a browser and search the butterfly angel thing that had Sabrina laughing. Before I scan the results, Tomer’s reply pings through.

My love??:

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