Page 34 of Unexpected Heroine

His nostrils flare with a sharp inhale. He releases my shoulder and takes a step back, giving me a small shove in the process.

That was a low blow, and we both know it.

Doesn’t make it untrue.

Even still, the validity of the statement doesn’t justify my callousness. No man wants to visualize his woman being hurt in that way.

As he takes two steps in one direction and doubles back, he pins me with an unyielding glare. His disappointment is stifling, reminding me so much of my childhood.

I can only stand there, simmering in my scalding regret, speechless and shame-filled.

So much fucking regret.

What I’ve said to Big Al piles onto the burning self-condemnation that’s eating away at me over what happened to Lettie. But the remorse I feel toward the man in front of me doesn’t start and end at the barbed words I’ve slung at him. It’s for everything I’ve done.

Today. Yesterday. Last week. Over the last fucking year and all the years before that when I first found out about his daughter but didn’t tell him.

And for the day he saw me strangling the life out of my father’s wretched body.

His disappointment coats my lungs in a pungent sludge, choking off my airway.

It’s almost as oppressive as the disappointment I have in myself.

“I’m gonna excuse that because I know you’ve been through hell. But make no mistake, I won’t tolerate you talking about Madeline like that again. Even in a hypothetical situation, that’s not something you fucking say to another man.”

Feeling rightfully chastised, I drop my gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry, Boss. You’re right.”

He heaves a weary sigh. “What’s her name?”

My eyes find his. He points his chin at the window.

“Violet. Goes by Lettie.”

“Wish I’d met her under different circumstances.”

My heart flops to the bottom of my gut like a dead weight.

Without missing a beat, he carries on, utterly oblivious to the tragedy of his words. “I’ve got to be honest; I’m fucking hurt that you didn’t come to me as soon as you found out she was missing. After everything we’ve been through, I don’t fucking get it.”

His words lance my chest, but I don’t block them out or try to stop him, because I deserve to bleed.

“You know damn well I would never turn my back on family. You clearly love Violet, since you were willing to put everything on the line to save her. That makes her Redleg family.”

If only he knew how true that statement was.

My only response is a slight nod.

He cups the side of my upper arm in a caring gesture. His next words come out in a warmer tone. “She’s a beautiful girl. I hope she makes you happy. Don’t forget, I’m here for you, day or night. Always have been. She’s gonna go through some shit for a while, and that’ll affect you too. When the people we love hurt, so do we.” His eyes widen, conveying his meaning. He pats the side of my cheek. “And I love you, son.”

Without another word, he joins Leo.

I wish I deserved his love.

As the SUV pulls out of my driveway, I take a few cleansing breaths to gather my composure.

When I turn around, Lettie is standing in the open doorway. One foot is on the porch, and the other is on the threshold.

“James, are you okay?” Compassion weaves itself through her heavenly voice and her gorgeous blue eyes. After everything she’s gone through, she’s still worried about me.

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