Page 66 of Unexpected Heroine

“I know it’s dark where you are. It’s also cold there, right?” She inhales and flutters out a trembling breath. “I’ve been there a lot lately and when I was younger. I get it. But you’re not alone, even though it feels like you are.”

Lettie’s honey-coated voice wraps around me, grounding me in place.

I can’t let this be about me. I need to be stronger than this. To be the man. I should be taking care of her. That’s my job.

I was supposed to protect her.

I failed.

And now I’m supposed to be taking care of her, but I’m failing again.

That’s all I know how to do.

But I need to be better for her.

“Rather than psychoanalyze what you’re going through, I’m just gonna do what you asked me to do. I’m pulling you back. You’re not going over the ledge. Not unless we’re jumping together, and no offense, but I’m scared of heights.” Her lip tugs up a tiny bit on one side.

She pauses, waiting for me to make eye contact. Running her hand along my jaw, she tips my chin toward her.

So much love in her touch.

I should probably be used to feeling this from her by now—this warmth and genuine affection—but it’s still foreign.

“How, Lettie?” I grit out, then force a swallow around the boulder camping out in my throat.

“We’re going to do it together. I’ll hold you, and you’re gonna hold me. All night long until the urge to go after them fades away. And if it’s still there in the morning, I’ll keep holding you. You just focus on me. Don’t think about them.”

Her throat bobs, and she mashes her eyes closed as she sucks in a sharp breath. When she exhales, it’s as if she’s found a new reservoir of strength. “They don’t deserve another minute of our attention. They took enough away from me already. I’ll be damned if I let them take you too.”

“You’re so fucking amazing, Lettie. I’m in awe of you. All I did was watch a portion of what you endured, and I’m a broken man.” I drag in a shuddery breath. “How are you this strong?”

A sad smile slips onto her face. “I think I get it from my dad.”

She pauses, and my heart stalls out. Blood stops pulsing through my veins, turning to a viscous sludge.

“Well, my papa,” she amends.

Her first sentence was correct.

She’s as strong as her father. Much like he picked me off the ground, she’s doing the same.

Oblivious to how her unknowing slipup has caused a domino effect in my mind, she goes on to explain. “Papa often talked about finding balance, and he loved to teach me lessons using the dangdest metaphors. Remember playing on seesaws at the playground as a kid?”

I give her a nod, even though it’s a white lie.

You need friends to play on one of those.

“After we’d leave the park, he’d talk to me about taking turns and working together, using the seesaw to illustrate his lessons. Like if both kids don’t do their part, then it wouldn’t be any fun. And you can’t be both up and down at the same time. Stuff like that. Well, as I got older, his stories got deeper, but they often came back to the seesaw. Somehow that man managed to make a basic piece of playground equipment apply to how to have a strong marriage or bring about frickin’ world peace.” She chuckles to herself, and her eyes stare off into the distance wistfully. “Frankly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he told me a swing set could end world hunger and a slide was all we need to reverse climate change.”

I get lost in her eyes as she rambles.

Fuck. I love this woman.

“Most people think the seesaw is all about one person being up while the other is down. The rising or the falling. Papa said the real joy is in the brief moment when both people are at the same level. In balance. When you pass the midway point, catch eyes with your partner, and you both feel like you’re suspended in space. That’s where the magic lies.”

Although I sense where she’s going with this story, I let her continue at her own speed. Everything about this smooths over the fissures of my mind and soul. She’s shining her light inside me, driving away my darkness.

Just like I asked her to do.

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