Page 72 of Unexpected Heroine

My answer, much like my personal mantra, isn’t thought out or well-reasoned. “I don’t know. I’m confused.”

Story of my life.

Except my response isn’t entirely true. I think I’m doing this because I want him to make me feel normal again. To prove I’m not damaged. Yet I don’t know why I need that so badly, especially now.

Sadly, I can’t find the fucking words to say any of this.

Using his delicate grip around my waist, he stills my pulsing hips. My fingertips trail over his upper body like they’re searching for something while my mouth hovers centimeters from his.

All I can think about is how much I crave his skin on mine, pressing flush against me.

I need him so close I can’t feel alone anymore.

And deep enough inside me to drive away the emptiness.

He cups the side of my neck, staring deeply into my eyes. “If you don’t know why you’re doing this, it’s too soon.”

“Please,” I whine, snaking my hand between us to reach for his dick.

He shakes his head while grabbing my wrist to stop me.

Tears instantly pool in my eyes. “You don’t want me anymore,” I quiver.

“No, it’s not like that.”

I tug my hand free, sinking it lower. “Then why?”

He lets me explore for a minute before answering. “I’m afraid of upsetting you or triggering you. Fuck, Lettie. A few minutes ago, I didn’t even know where to put my hands.”

“You’re afraid?”

“I’m fucking terrified of causing you a single moment of panic or harm. When we do this, I should be in the right frame of mind. After everything that’s happened tonight, I’m not there.”

“You sure you still want me?”

“With all my heart, soul, mind, and body. Every fucking part of me wants you. But I need to take this slow too. It’s been a fucked up night. I’m barely hanging on by a thread here, sugar. Just give me some time, okay?”

My throat thickens. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force you.”

“No. I didn’t think you were forcing me.” His expression softens, eyes twinkling with the beginning stirrings of happiness. “We’re a mess tonight, huh?”

A quiet laugh echoes in my chest, shaking my shoulders. “Yeah. We sure are.”

“One minute, you’re talking me off a ledge. The next, I’m talking you off one.”

I give him a chaste kiss, refusing to dive deeper because I suspect it’ll rev my hormones again. “I told you so.”

“Told me what?”

“We’re balancing each other like two kids on a seesaw. And I warned you I’d need you to push me up again real soon, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“And here you are. Doing exactly that.”

“I’m good now, Lettie. I had a rough night, but I’ll be better for you. I know you need me. I’m sorry I wavered tonight. It won’t happen again.”

Channeling Papa, I grin and toss, “Well then, I’ll be seeing you at the middle point as soon as I get my shit together.”

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