Page 74 of Unexpected Heroine

The nightmare he had.

When he woke up, he said something similar about keeping me or letting me go.

I shake it off when the rest of the memory doesn’t come quickly enough to make sense of whatever connection my brain is trying to show me.

“Stop talkin’ like I’m waiting for the moment when I can leave you. That ain’t a foregone conclusion. Just because I’m fit to be tied doesn’t mean I’m givin’ up on us.”

Air leaks from his lungs in a resigned flutter. “I want to believe you more than you’ll ever know. But my name isn’t the only?—”

Once again, I resort to manually shushing him. This time, I use two fingers to pinch his lips shut. “Hush up.”

I’d bet my entire savings the rest of his sentence would have gone something like... my name isn’t the only lie I’ve told.

No good sense in hearing him say what I already know.

Not tonight.

“I know what you were fixin’ to say. But I’m still here anyway.”

The fact that I’m too terrified to be without him is only a small part of why. More than any other reason, he’s a piece of my soul I can’t see myself living without. And I don’t want to try.

Whoever he is.

I expel a shaky breath that rivals his earlier one. “Once things settle a bit, we’re going to have a calm discussion about all this. Well, you’ll be calm, but I’ll probably be cryin’ and hollerin’ at you. Just prepare for that.” Done teasing him, I add, “For now, I only have one question.”

“Go ahead, sweetness. Whatever it is, I’ll answer honestly.”

“Based on what I’ve pieced together, your real name is Tomer, right?”

“Yes.”

I hate that I thought it was another fake name, but here we are.

“I’m assuming James Harris is your club alias since everyone at Bask knows you by that name, and it’s in your membership file.”

When my words trail off, he gives me the confirmation I seek. “Correct.”

“From what I recall, you first told me your name when we met at the coffee shop. Did you decide on the drive over from the gas station that you were gonna try to get me a job at Bask?”

He pauses a second before answering, “No. I didn't think about the job until after.”

Sadly, his response doesn’t get me any closer to understanding whether I’m part of his real life or his club life.

I thought I was both.

“It makes sense you’d want to keep the two lives separate. Most people at Bask use an alias.” I swallow around my sadness. “What I’m wondering is how I fit into that equation. If James is for your club life and Tomer is for your real life, where does that leave me?”

“I said it before, Lettie, and I’ll say it again and again. You are the realist thing in my life. My name or where I work doesn’t change that. And... and nothing else will change it either.”

“I guess that’ll have to do for now. If I slip up and call you James, just let that shit go. Okay?”

With a weary sigh, he releases my hair, lowering his hand to my shoulder. Pulling me close, he places a lingering kiss on my forehead. “Thank you, sugar. Please know I had my reasons, and I never meant to hurt you.”

Am I a fool for believing him?

Probably.

After all, I am Lettie Holt. The same gal who Stella convinced holding a PhD meant you always had a perfect hair day. In my defense, I was only eight. Sadly, I believed it until I was thirteen.

---