Page 20 of Homesick

“Wait, Wren,” Blake shouts as he swims after me. “I’m sorry . . . I shouldn’t have said that.”

I quickly reach the shore and toss my clothes on even though I’m soaked.

“It’s fine, Blake. We just forgot.”

“Forgot what?” he questions.

“Forgot that strangers can’t talk to each other like that.”

I start speed walking back to the house before the conversation can go on any longer. I hate running away from him, but I hate falling into old habits even more. The second I let him back in . . . I don’t know if I’ll be able to push him away again.

CHAPTER 7

“You did what?” Emma says as she hangs out at the bar while I finish my shift.

“Nothing happened or anything. We were just two half-naked adults, swimming together. Completely PG.”

“Yeah, okay. You basically stripped in front of each other. It doesn’t get any more intimate than that, Wren.”

I take Emma’s empty glass and set it in the tiny sink behind the bar. I just gave her a small recap of what happened in the pond a few days earlier. Since then, I haven’t seen Blake and that was on purpose. Every time I was around him, I ended up doing or saying something that I’d regretted. It was an impossible cycle and the best way to avoid it was to remove myself from the equation completely.

“In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea. I just got too caught up in reminiscing about how things used to be.”

“That’s understandable. What’s your next move?”

That was a great question. I had thought long and hard about how to navigate the situation that is Blake Fisher. I knew I would have to see him again. I just had to make sure I was never alone with him for too long. That’s when I would make an ass of myself and when my thoughts would drift to places I really didn’t want to revisit.

“I’m just going to make sure we’re never alone together. I could’ve completely avoided the pond situation, but I chose to follow him like we were kids again. I just need to make sure there’s always a buffer.”

Emma gives me a knowing look and I brush it off.

“What?” I question even though I know the answer.

“Nothing. It just seems like you’re subconsciously drifting toward him. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

“I know,” I respond, deep in thought. “I think there’s some underlying attraction that’s still there. If anything more were to happen between us, I would just get sucked into the past again. I’m not going back to the same place I was at when I was eighteen,” I say confidently.

“Okay, good. Well maybe you need a distraction then?”

“A distraction?”

“Yeah! Just someone you can take all your pent-up sexual tension out on. I mean how long has it been since you did the deed?”

I smile at Emma’s inability to say a simple three letter word, but my smile is soon replaced by a frown. How long had it been? I had been so anxious about my move home that I really hadn’t considered those needs in a while. I had a solid roster in the city, but here, the pool was much smaller.

“I don’t know. Maybe three months?”

“There you go! The reason why you’re getting so flustered around Blake is because you haven’t gotten some in so long. Maybe once you set your sights on something new, you’ll stop fixating on your attraction toward your ex.”

I guess her point was valid, but there were times when I had gone longer without sex or male validation. I did however miss that sense of connection. I was slowly starting to warm up to my friends and family and those connections were great, but there was something missing from that feeling of home that I craved.

I didn’t have any serious relationships back in Cleveland, but I participated in a casual hook-up here and there. Especially when I first moved there.

I missed the rush of that first interaction and getting to know someone new. That weird tingly feeling you felt when your hands slightly brush against one another. The feeling of simply being wanted by someone who wasn’t obligated to want you. I missed all of that.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get out there a little.”

“Let me see your phone,” Emma demands.

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