Page 26 of Homesick

“Okay,” he replies before giving me a once over. My eyes are now dry, but I can still feel where the tears were threatening to fall. I have a feeling he can see them, too. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Before I can run to the nearest safe space, he reels me back in and says, “oh shoot, I almost forgot. Can you help me with one little thing before you leave?”

I agree and follow him to one of the bigger barns where some of the cows have already begun to settle in for the night. I notice he’s carrying a medium-sized bag that looks like something that would hold medical supplies. “What’s in the bag?” I ask out of curiosity.

“Just some supplies. I need to give a few of the cows their boosters.”

“Oh, okay. Not to sound rude, but what do you need me for?”

“I just need you to be a distraction while I poke them. I can usually do this by myself, but this group is especially jumpy.”

I continue to follow him as we approach a group of cows who are fresh off mating season. They’re all lazily chewing on hay, completely oblivious to the needle about to go in their necks. I’m a little queasy myself even though I’ve seen it done hundreds of times growing up. I still can’t get stuck with any sort of needle without my mom nearby.

We walk up to the first cow, and I begin to pet her head while Blake gets his syringe ready. The first few cows are easy, and they barely notice when he inserts the needle. I look away each time because I’m notorious for almost passing out anytime I see a sharp medical object.

After a few more patients, I work up the nerve to ask some of the questions burning a hole in my mind. “How long have you’ve been doing this for?”

Blake stops what he’s doing and looks up at me with his head slightly tilted. If I knew any better, he’s surprised I’m asking him something personal. Trust me, I’m just as surprised as he is.

He clears his throat and I notice his Adam’s apple bob up and down slightly. Who knew that could be sexy? I blink and shake my head to get rid of the intrusive thoughts swirling around in my brain.

“When I didn’t end up going to that college, I decided to take some online classes until I knew what I wanted to do. I was pretty sure I wanted to go for nursing, but I took some gen eds to be safe. After the semester had ended,” he pauses as he tries to articulate his next thought. “I knew you’d be moving back home from school . . . so I spent the summer with one of my cousins down in Pennsylvania. He’s a large animal veterinarian so he hired me on as his assistant and let me shadow him. Long story short, I realized I liked working with animals better and I decided to start taking classes to become a veterinarian.”

Coward, I say to myself. The only problem is he isn’t the only coward in this room. I worked my ass off during freshman year to secure an internship for the summer so I wouldn’t have to come home. Honey Grove missed both of us that year.

I’m tempted to give up this game of hardball I’d been playing and talk to him like we were old friends again. It was tempting to fall back into old patterns, but I still felt every drop of sadness and grief I’d experienced during our break-up. The pain was dull, but it was still there. I’d never gotten closure all those years ago, but I wasn’t eager to open that door again.

Blake must notice the change in my demeanor because he continues his story. “After I finished my degree online, I needed to get some experience under my belt. I was lucky enough to get a job with the local vet. My plan is to go back to school and become a large animal veterinarian like my cousin.”

“Sounds like you’re on the right track then,” I say, switching my focus back to the cows. I could easily understand why Blake liked working with animals so much. They were the best and cheapest therapy I’ve ever had.

Whenever I was in my feels as a kid, I would run out to the pasture and share all my woes with the closest cow or bull in exchange for a snack. At this moment, I’m meant to be support for the cow, but I think they’re helping me more than I’m, helping them. Every time I feel Blake’s stare linger for too long, I divert my attention toward the big furry creature in front of me.

The more cows Blake vaccinates, the more I wonder if he really needs me here. So far, we’ve gotten through most of the herd with zero issues. There were a few fussy mamas, but they all calmed down as soon as Blake started petting their side. The way his hands worked so smoothly as he went along was almost mesmerizing. He really did have a way with animals. Women . . . not so much.

“Well, that’s the last one,” he says while starting to load up his bag. “Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome. What are work acquaintances for?”

He looks up from his bag and makes sure to make direct eye contact as a faint smile paints his face. “I have a question for you now.”

I nervously clasp my fingers behind my back and rock back and forth like a child waiting to be punished. “Yes?” I know I shouldn’t engage with him, but this is a part of working together. I can’t ignore him the whole summer like a . . . coward.

“You’ve managed to avoid this town for the past six years or so. Why come home now?”

“I got laid off and couldn’t find anything else. Naturally, my final option was moving home. I thought you already knew all this.”

“Yes, I did. But that still doesn’t answer my question. Not really.”

“Why don’t you enlighten me on how to answer your question then, Blake,” I snap. I make sure to enunciate his name at the end of my statement, adding an extra bite.

“Feel free to correct me, but you’ve always had this determined spirit about you.” I raise my eyebrows as a gesture for him to continue his point. “For example, when you didn’t make the volleyball team in middle school, you didn’t give up. Instead, you nagged the coach until he let you be the equipment manager. Eventually, he started letting you run drills and soon enough you were on the team.

“Anyways, what I’m trying to say is the Wren I know doesn’t give up that easily. If you truly wanted to find another job in the city, you would have.”

At some point during his mini speech, he moved closer to me. His proximity makes me extremely aware of my own heartbeat which seems to pump faster the closer he gets. I can’t even begin to contemplate his accusatory tone, but it doesn’t come off as hostile, it comes off as caring.

“It’s honestly not that complicated. I ran out of money and luckily for me, I have a room at Mom and Dad’s free of charge.”

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